I think we can all agree that it definitely sucks to be single sometimes. Especially coming into these cold months ahead, you might find yourself longing a bit more than usual for a companion to cuddle up and watch movies with (or not watch movies with??). All jokes aside, the reality is that being single can be lonely. But what does it really mean to enter this gloomy “cuffing season”? Are you really searching for a companion? Or are you just searching for someone to fill that temporary void of loneliness? I think it’s easy to sometimes fall in love with the idea of being in a relationship rather than with the counterpart in the relationship. This time last year, I was the girl cuffing. I am the prime example of falling victim to needing a winter boyfriend, and solely a winter boyfriend that was. However, I am doing things a little differently this year. With that, I am also your prime example of being single and thriving (or at least this is what I strive to be), and I can promise you girly that we will get through this together.
Being single comes with a mix of emotions. Some days you want to cry about it, some days you want to resort to Tinder, and some days, I hope, you want to embrace being the single bad bitch that you are for all its glory. Some days if you are like me, you may even experience all three scenarios within the space of a few hours. It isn’t going to be easy sometimes. If you don’t put in the correct self care, it really can be mentally challenging sometimes. But being in a relationship also comes with its mental challenges too. I think I am happiest at this time and place of my life right now than I ever was in any of my past relationships. Yes I have my bad days, but I also had them in relationships too. The difference now is that on my happy days, I am truly happy because of myself. I am happy because I love the person that I am, I love her with or without a counterpart alongside her. If you’re anything like me, my happiness in a relationship has been completely built off of someone else, and when that relationship came crumbling down, I came crumbling down with it. I hope that you don’t have to experience this and that after this read, you and I both can be a little more on track for preventing any future crumbling.
So here is my advice, girl to girl, on how to embrace being single!!
Fitness is Key
Go on that hot girl walk (even in the freezing cold). Buy that gym membership. Open up YouTube and do that workout from your bedroom girl. For me, keeping up my fitness no matter what, whether that be through sunshine, rain or snow has been my saviour these past few years of my life. Even if that’s just a short walk around the block, or perhaps a 10 minute workout from my bedroom. Fitness for me has been my best distraction that will make your endorphins way too happy to be sad about not having a partner.
Time with the Gals
The girls are here to help. Who needs a man when you have the girls to watch Christmas movies with? Fortunately, I still have a couple girlfriends on the same single page as me, and I sincerely hope that you do too. Time spent with friends is so important for us single women. Make some cute plans to go ice-skating, or bake cookies, or go Christmas shopping, the list is endless! Best friends are forever but cuffing season is not!
Journaling & Meditation
Two of my best friends. I don’t know where I’d be without them. These are two of my best forms of self care that have helped me tremendously, through my single and my not-so-single days. It is my way of checking in with myself and re-centring all my thoughts back to reality. That being said, sometimes I actually avoid the act of sitting down and taking this moment with myself in fear of confronting my emotions and the sadness that it may evoke with it. But I think it is so important to confront our emotions every now and then, and to talk to ourselves about how we are truly feeling deep inside in order to understand and feel better from it. I love myself the occasional ‘I hate being single, why have I not found the love of my life yet’ cry, as it really re-centres me into remembering that being single is by no means the end of the world, that I will one day find my counterpart, and that until then, I’m going to be absolutely just fine, and so are you darling.
If you take away anything from this read, please remember that there is no need to rush anything. When you find the one, you find the one. Everything is panning out exactly how it’s supposed to, even if that may be hard to grasp at this point in time. And whether you decide to look for someone to fill the void with this cuffing season, or whether you decide to take on these cold months alone, one thing is for certain: You’ve got this!