India has the lowest rate of divorce in the world. Our traditional values have always put family before everything. The fathers work hard night and day to earn and provide for the family, while the mothers dedicate their whole lives to looking after the family. But is it really all rainbows and sunshine? Or is this façade of Indian family values just trying to hide the fact that real life is nothing like Sooraj Barjatya’s Hum Sath-Sath Hai?
According to data, about 30% of Indian women face domestic violence, and these are just the cases that get reported. One can only imagine the number of crimes that go unreported, because which ‘Bhartiya Naari’ would choose her own happiness over her husband? People need to understand the fact that domestic violence is not only physical; it can be mental, emotional, or sexual in nature. Women living in an environment of mental and emotional stress sometimes do not understand the signs. Just because your husband is not hitting you, does not mean it is not abuse.
I have always wondered why these women would willingly want to live with their abusers. Why is upholding a toxic cultural value more important than the life of a person? The most fundamental reason is that almost all these women are financially dependent on their husbands. Most of the time the parents of the woman also refuse to help their daughters as they favor tradition over the happiness of their child.
Another reason is the stigma surrounding divorce. According to our society, a woman should live all her life being beaten to a pulp by her husband, rather than live without one. What kind of cruelty is this? Why can’t we for once in our lives let go of the patriarchal and misogynistic mindset, and see what we have been doing to thousands of innocent women in our ignorance? We must accept the fact that a long marriage does not mean a successful marriage. However, there are exceptions after all. Some women are indeed brave enough to leave such marriages but what happens to them after that? Does society let them live? Are they able to live one day of their life in peace without getting judged by people? Umm…. NO!
I have often noticed my mother pointing to a divorced lady living in our neighborhood. Somehow in every conversation about her, my mother always brings up the fact that she is divorced. On the other hand, I have never heard anyone talking about a divorced man. Do they even exist?
Some argue that divorce is a western concept and might destroy the family system in India. Today, we are inspired by the West in all the spheres of our life, to such an extent that Imperialism in its physical form might have ended 75 years ago, but our minds are still colonized. If we can choose western knowledge over our own Indian culture, then why not get inspired by the West and normalize something which can actually protect a person from a lifetime of misery?