This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Xavier chapter.
Did you get my Snapchat? Have you checked your email? Where are we going? Why don’t you just Google it?
I didn’t, I can’t, and I don’t know because I don’t have a smartphone. I can’t get online, I can’t get apps, and I’m one step up from a tracfone but hey, I have a keyboard. Everyone around me has a smart phone and often reminisce when they see my slide out mobile and, with a sigh, say, “I wish I could go back to before I got a smartphone.”
No you don’t. 2006 called and it wants its phone back.
- Selfies are hard. I don’t have a front view camera. It’s a battle of clicking, missing the button, trying again, checking the outcome, and erasing it in a continuous cycle. The photos aren’t sharp, sometimes they’re blurry, and if you try to send me that selfie I just took with your phone, the format won’t work and everything gets messed up.
- I live vicariously through everyone else’s Snapchats. I had one back in the day when my high school gave the seniors iPads for the year but now that it’s gone, I beg to try the new filters, look at stories, and maybe even send a snap (after someone reminds me how to work it).
- I can read paper maps because I have to know how. Atlases cover my backseat from before I bought a GPS because if I get lost, I am lost. That GPS doesn’t work outside of the car though and you’ll find me asking for directions at almost every point in my journey.
- I have a Facebook album called “If I had an Insta, I would Instagram this.” App specific social media doesn’t include everyone. If I could, I would be all over Instagram posting selfies, pictures of coffee, and all of the dogs I see, but sadly you need something that can download apps for that.
- I pull up at the store after work hoping it didn’t close. I can’t look up their hours before I go if I need something right away. I don’t have access to Google, Siri, Cortana, or whatever other searches people use. Unless there’s someone I can ask, I’ll just cross my fingers and hope it’ll all work out.
- Digital coupons are my biggest enemies. If it ever says to show electronically, I either accept my fate or assess the situation to see if maybe they’ll let me explain my predicament. I’ve missed free Chipotle burritos because I can’t open their online coupon via text message.
- Along with digital coupons, I also can’t access many rewards programs like Starbucks and Dunkin’. Bye-bye free coffees and reminders to update my Perks card.
- Remember when everyone carried their phone in one pocket and their iPod in the other pocket? That’s still a reality.
- I can’t check emails in public. If I happen to have my laptop on me when I need to check for something important, I’ll turn my bag around and wear it backwards, unzip it to form a small ledge, and prop my laptop up while I quickly surf the web and get to my destination assuming that where I’m walking has public internet.
- Emojis? What are you saying? How do you feel? My screen is covered in boxes and I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me. I either use emoticons e_e or type everything out (thumbs up emoji) in hopes to get my mood across when texting.
On the plus side? My phone never breaks when I drop it.
Think twice before turning in your snazzy technologically advanced phone for something that takes five minutes to load a picture message.