As the athletes and journalists arrive to Sochi, Russia where the 2014 Winter Olympic Games are being held, they’re revealing that the city isn’t quite ready yet…at all. Many tweets have shown unfinished buildings, broken curtains, and knob-less doors. Others are complaining about having no warm water and not being allowed to flush their toilet paper. Even stray dogs are roaming the streets. Here are nine things more prepared than Sochi is for the Olympics. Let’s just hope that the athletes participating in the games make it ten.
1. The Broncos
Even though they lost the Super Bowl 43-8, the Broncos were still more prepared to play in the big game than Sochi is to host the Olympic Winter Games.
2. Frat guys
The second you walk into their basement party, they’ve already got a drink in hand for you and your friends. How do they do that? You turn around for one second and they’re back with enough liquid to hydrate the Sahara Dessert.
3. Beyoncé
If there’s any truth to her song “Flawless” she’s clearly ready to conquer the world as soon as her alarm goes off. In that case, I resemble Sochi more than I do Queen B in the A.M. I wish “I woke up like dis” too.
4. Raw Meat
I’ve seen raw meat more prepared than Sochi is. How do you not even have a lobby yet? At restaurants, instead of asking “How would you like your meat done?” they might as well ask “Do you want it Sochi or medium well?” And let’s not even get started on the water…
5. Justin Bieber’s jail cell
After egging his neighbor’s house, getting a DUI, and partying with strippers the “King” had it coming. We were all waiting for the day when he reached his tipping point and finally got in trouble for his reaklessness. Looks like the hair-flip didn’t work this time, Biebs. At least there were light bulbs in jail, though. And get this- the police dogs were contained.
6. The Congress
Congress is always prepared to discuss any issue thrown at them. Speak of the devil, they’re even ready to address the petition to deport Justin Bieber. They’ve got this on lock, guys don’t worry.
7. Clare from The Bachelor
First of all, she was pretty prepared to frolick over to JP’s crib at 4 a.m. last episode. Then she was ready to defend herself after crying in front of the other girls by coming up with the super believable allergies excuse. Now with that level of preparation, I’d say she was a Girl Scout.
8. Single girls on Valentine’s Day
Even with no date or even plans for that matter in sight, most single girls will be more prepared for V-day than Sochi is for the Olympics.
9. College students after a night out
If you wake up the next morning next to someone you met the night before, you’re either prepared to GTFO as fast as you can…
OR…
Wake up early just to make breakfast…or just to watch them sleep. Either way, you’re prepared.
Whether you forgot about that test in class today or showed up to work in your clothes from the night before, you can take pride in knowing that you probably still are more prepared than Russia to host the international games. And that right there deserves a gold medal.