With all of the sexual assault allegations in Hollywood involving stars like Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and Louis CK, the importance of consent is currently at the centre of the media spotlight. As most people know, nothing but a direct, verbal and enthusiastic “yes” can be considered consent; however, sometimes social anxiety or personal fears make saying “no” a challenge. Some people find themselves lacking ideas for how to approach the subject, or what to say to discourage a potential sexual partner other than an outright rejection. While consent is no joke, there is some room to play in our creative reasoning; let’s get people talking about consent! If you’re lacking some inspo in the sex-declining department, this list is for you.
Things to say instead of “No”:
-
Nope
-
No thanks
-
Nah
-
It’s a no from me
-
Not in a million years
-
I’m waiting for marriage
-
I’m waiting for divorce
-
If we have sex I’ll become emotionally attached and you don’t want to bring me Starbucks every day do you?
-
If we have sex, you’ll die. I’m just that good
-
I’m too invested in my Chopped marathon
-
Downvoted
-
Depends, do you have any mayonnaise?
-
Look! A bear!
-
Look! Megan Fox!
-
Look! A woman who might have sex with you!
-
Look! I’m tired
-
What’s the password?
-
You’ll have to book in advance, sorry
-
I have an important business call
-
It takes me 15 hours to orgasm and I yell Russian slurs the whole time
-
I’m allergic
-
I have a tattoo of a Rubik’s Cube on my back and only have sex with people who can solve it in under 10 seconds
-
I’m watching Stranger Things season 2
-
I’m on my period (and not into period sex)
-
I’m pregnant (and not into pregnancy sex)
-
Only if you can find me hiding in the Weldon stacks
-
Sex? More like Tex Mex!! Let’s get food instead
-
First watch me do the entire choreography from Cats
-
Gum would be perfection
-
I only have sex at 3pm on the third Wednesday of the month
-
I only have sex on the full moon (I’m a werewolf)
-
Are you talking to me?
-
The lower half of my body is entirely made of concrete
-
It’s girls night
-
It’s boys night
-
It’s a night that doesn’t include you
-
I had a premonition this would happen, and it does not end well
-
I’m storing my wallet in there
-
There’s a Jonas Brothers concert I just can’t miss
-
I’m actually flying to Mexico as we speak, sorry
-
I have a really important piano concert tomorrow
-
I can only orgasm if you yodel the theme song to Blues Clues
-
I have an STI
-
You have an STI
-
I have a stye in my eye
-
I’m too busy cleansing my crystals
-
I don’t own a bed
-
Let’s stop seeing each other for a while
-
My friend probably needs me back at the club
-
Sing the duets to the top 10 most popular musicals with me first
-
Can we get married afterwards?
-
Sorry, that table is reserved
-
I’m into partners who lick every square inch of floor in my bedroom before sex
-
My roommates are home and want to meet you
-
Oh, I didn’t realized we were getting engaged, that’s so exciting!
-
My cat wouldn’t approve
-
My dog wouldn’t approve
-
My dad wouldn’t approve
-
I’m terrified of intimacy
-
I’m trying to break the world record for the longest someone can go without sex
-
I like to yell the provincial capitals alphabetically in bed
-
I have bedbugs and they wouldn’t take kindly to a visitor
-
Who are you?
-
My elbows are tired
-
We JUST had sex last month
-
Will you give me feedback on my Scooby Doo impression?
-
I am your father
-
I’m writing my thesis
-
I’m writing a review of The Emoji Movie (and it’s favourable)
-
I’m writing to my long lost brother in Brazil
-
Sure! For $39.99 you can sign up for my sex aerobics class
-
… OR we could go to the Spoke
-
I just need to run a few errands in France first
-
Only if we can roleplay as a dentist and one of the teeth they’re extracting
-
I have an early horse race in the morning
-
I love you
-
I don’t love you
-
I’m saving myself for someone shorter
-
“According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway.”
-
I have a sleeping addiction, goodnight
-
I’m considering celibacy
-
Have you seen videos of birth? Not down, thanks anyway
-
In this economy?
-
Your mother and I are getting a divorce
-
This man opens the bedroom door and you won’t BELIEVE what happens next!
-
Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica
-
I’m too busy watching videos of soldiers coming home to their dogs
-
Don’t look down there, trust me
-
First, solve this cipher
-
I have to wax my forehead
-
I’m not on birth control and I’m ovulating 24/7
-
Don’t make me laugh
-
Love isn’t just about sex, come on Jared do you think about anything else?!
-
I have to go to the bathroom
-
I’m training for the MMA
-
Your mom is on her way over to hang out
-
Are you saying you’ll be the Shrek to my Fiona?
-
If I don’t get this essay done I won’t get into Ivey
-
Sorry, Friday is board game night
-
I really have to get going on my tax forms for next year
-
First let’s marathon the National Treasure movies and then Adam Sandler’s entire filmography!
In all seriousness guys, you shouldn’t need an excuse to get out of sex. If you aren’t feeling it, you have every right to say so—no frills, jokes or TV references required! But if you’re looking for something more surprising or creative, here you go!
Related Articles
- Why Your Relationship Status Doesn’t Give You Consent
- Why I Won’t Download Tinder
- Western Consent Week: No Means No
Want more HCW? Check us out on social media!