Sex, naturally, is an issue as old as mankind itself. Whether you follow the good word of the Lord or the more logical thoughts of Darwin, you must admit that somewhere along the way someone somewhere had to do the dirty in order for humanity to continue to grow. The process itself is relatively easy (we’ve all heard some version of “the birds and the bees” [at least I hope you have, eesh]): Two people meet, they laugh, they love, and thus the circle of life is continued.
Yes, sure, the process might be easy (for some it’s as easy as “in, out, and on my way”). The journey to reach that process, though, is not that easy. If a man walks up to a woman and flat out asks for sex, the odds seemed stacked against him and the situation usually ends with a drink being thrown or a hand meeting his face with great force. If a woman walks up to a man and asks for sex, she’s seen as a slut or a whore. Sexuality, at least blatant and outright sexuality, is seen as a crude gesture – something to be hidden from plain sight.
Notwithstanding, finding out who likes you and who wants to have sex with you is not always as easy as asking – some are braver than others, some are just lazy (Hi.), and some just want to skip dating in general.
Frankly, I wouldn’t blame them. Dating is – or can be – expensive and an overall hassle.
It was from this lack of desire to date that the new Facebook application “Bang With Friends” was birthed. The homepage of the site itself, which directs users to Facebook anyway, features a scantily clad female and an upside down “Parental Advisory” sign (appropriate, no doubt).
There’s no delicate way to put it, really. “Bang With Friends” is a handy Facebook app that allows users to search their respective list of friends and click on who they’d be happy to have sex with – who they’d be DTF, if you know what I mean. For now the app is still in relative infancy – even if it does boast over 100,000 users – and only allows users to search heterosexually, meaning that members of the LGBT community are, sadly, out of luck for now. By no means is this a reflection of the creators’ personal views, as stated in an interview with Kat George from Motherboard (a subsidiary of Vice),
When I log on, I’m only able to see males from my friends list. Why the heteronormative standard?
“To be honest, we built this in two hours and never expected it to take off. We built the most basic version we could to keep it simple and get to the result of getting people bangin’ buddies! We are working on expanding it to help everyone.”
I’ve asked a few friends, and so far opinions seem divided. On one hand, college students everywhere frequently find themselves sexually frustrated (ask Tumblr, they know what I’m talkin’ about) and this is – or could be – and easy way to help relieve stress. After all, sex has been shown to burn calories, open up blood flow, and keep people happy. On the other hand, some are seeing it as an unfortunate misstep in human direction. As Ursinus College freshman Briana Mullan puts it, “I feel like our generation is the real beginning of the disappearance of moral ground and standard.”
[pagebreak] It’s easy to understand the division over the application. Surely, the three programmers from California who made the app – who are remaining anonymous for now – didn’t intend for the app to cause such controversy (though really, what is sex without controversy?). As one of the founders said in an interview with The Daily Beast, “What a lot of people want is just to skip all the shit and get to the sex”, referring to the system of dating – either online or off – which he says is a broken system. He continues, “It would be great, as guys, if you could find out which girls are actually into you and not dance around anything”.
Sex without the dating…incredibly useful for some, incredulously disgusting for others; it’s easy to guess where the divide between who would advocate for the use of this app versus who would be against it might fall.
As stated previously, the user has the option of selecting different people from his or her list of friends that he would be DTF. However, the app only works – and will only notify selected users of said being DTF – if it makes a match between two users; that is, if X clicks Y and Y clicks X, they’ll get a notification of connection. If X clicks Y and Y doesn’t even use “Bang With Friends”, it’s a no-go until Y starts using the app.
At the very least, the creators should be applauded for supporting safe sex – something made very apparent in their “How To” screen, which shows the four simple steps of using the application paired with illustrations of how to put on a condom.
Surely some people have found it useful, the app’s 100,000+ users can tell you that much. Whether or not you use it is up to you, but remember the possibilities and dangers of hooking up with people from your friends list…tales get told, stories go ‘round, and nothing stays secret for long.
Just remember to be safe in any sexual practice you pursue.