So this guy and I have been involved, I guess that’s the appropriate
word, for about eight months now. Three months ago, he said he wasn’t
ready for a “relationship,” but I feel like we’re already in one.
Should I say anything more about it or just go with the flow?
– Ms. Confused
Ms. Confused,
This is always a tough situation! Since you have been seeing this guy for 8 months now, I assume that you really like him, but that you do not want to bother him by over-complicating things. Now that its been three months since he told you that he is not ready for a relationship, you might want to ask him again where he stands. If he is still adament about not being ready for a relationship, then you need to decide if you want to continue seeing a guy who is not ready to take the relationship to the next level.
In all honesty, the fact that he continues to says he does not want a relationship but proceeds to essentially be in one with you, is a strong indicator that he only wants one thing (sex). If you’re down, then you’re in business! However it seems like you want more than the physical, and trying to create a real relationship when the other person is not on-board with the plan is not an easy task. If you actually like this guy, and you want to be in a relationship with him, then he has to be on the same page as you. I feel like this is the time where you have to stop worrying about what he wants and make some moves yourself.
If you are fine with how things are going, and HONESTLY would be comfortable doing the same thing for however long you two last, then don’t sweat it and go with the flow. However if you are waiting for him to change his mind about the relationship, I think he has already made it clear where he stands, and you should consider doing your own thing for a while.
<3 Good luck,
Your Gay Best Friend (YGBF)