Moving on from anything – a breakup, loss of a loved one, or getting a bad grade – can be a tedious and overwhelming process. You can’t just simply “move on” because that takes time and effort. The hardest things to move on from are:
1) A breakup: Delete that person entirely from your life. There’s a reason why it had to end. Don’t keep looking for answers, or clinging onto the smallest bit of hope that they may text you or even better, surprise you on your birthday. It ain’t happening. There are numerous people out there, and the reason why this relationship didn’t work out was because you haven’t found the one. So don’t settle for less, and don’t keep blaming yourself or looking for scenarios. It isn’t doing you any good. For the sake of your mental health, delete their number, pictures, and anything that reminds you of them. And then go out and treat yourself to gelato (or anything sweet and sugary).
2) Losing a loved one: Now this is different. Losing someone you love can be one of the hardest thing you will ever endure. Take some time off from school, work, or whatever you may be preoccupied with. Surround yourself with loved ones or people you know will support you. Most importantly grieve and let it all out. Again, this is different for everyone, and the time it will take for you to recover all depends on you. Although, you will never be able to “move on” entirely, the person you loved will always be a part of your life directly and indirectly shaping your tomorrow’s and yesterday’s.
3) Bad grades: coming from someone who suffered numerous periods of demotivation, the only way to regain the confidence within yourself is to pick yourself right back up. A couple of bad grades don’t define you. Try and evaluate what worked and what didn’t. Focus more on what worked, and try to look at it brightly. Seek assistance from various tutoring services offered on-campus, as well as try to ask your professor/TA for tips on what areas to improve. This feeling won’t last, and your next midterm/exam will definitely be much much brighter. Pick yourself back up, because every time you decide not to give up, you are so much closer to getting your desired grade.
What’s common in all these situations is that you should always start small, and slowly build yourself up. Always start somewhere, whether that’s deleting your ex’s number, joining a support group, starting therapy, or doing extra practice for a course. When you decide to start, you are already in the process of recovering or attaining your desired goal. Although, for some things you can’t just “move on”, you can try like hell to get to a better position, and come to terms with your loss or whatever didn’t work. Always try, because you will see results, and ultimately be a more contented person.