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My Life is GrUV: The Simple Girl's Guide to Understanding Sports

Posted Mar 30 2012 - 6:39pm

We’ve all seen the movies where there’s that one ditzy girl that acts clueless about everything to get a guys attention – and from these movies we know we never want to be that girl. If you’re a sports fanatic, and know every call in soccer, and every position in football, then all the power to you. But for those of you who don’t know everything there is to know, and want to still be able to keep up with your man on Sunday and Monday nights, then here’s a few tips to make sure you don’t get left behind.

Basketball:

  1. The first thing you need to know about basketball is that a basket inside the three-point line (the giant arch that surrounds the basket) is worth two points. Anything behind that arch is worth three points. A foul shot (at the straight line) is worth one point.
  2. Let’s say you’re a Celtics fan and an opponent grabs Paul Pierce. That’s a foul.
  3. If, as a team, the Celtics have seven fouls, then the other team can shoot one foul shot. If they make it, they get another shot. If they miss, however, then the game continues.
  4. If the team has ten fouls, then the other team automatically gets two free throw, or foul shot, attempts. If a player is shooting when they are fouled, however, they are automatically awarded two foul shots.

Soccer:

  1. When the ball is kicked into the net, it is a goal. A goal is worth one point.
  2. The goalie is the only player who can touch the ball, and only if it is within the giant square box outlined on the field around the net.
  3. When a player (who is not the goalie) accidentally touches the ball, the ball is given to the other team. They can only touch the ball to throw it back into play – and only if the ball is thrown over their head.
  4. When a player fouls their opponent, the ball is also given to the other team, and sometimes that foul can be a yellow card, or a red card, depending on the severity of the foul.
  5. A penalty shot is when someone is fouled inside that giant box outlined on the ground. The player gets a shot on goal, and only the goalie is allowed to stop the shot.

Baseball:

  1. There are many positions on the baseball field – you don’t need to know all of them! The pitcher is the one who throws the ball to the catcher while trying to strike out their opponent.
  2. When up to bat, the player is allowed two strikes. One their third strike, the batter is out, and there is one out in the inning. The pitchers job is to do this three times every inning.
  3. If the player receives four “balls” however (a pitch that is not in the strike zone), then the player “walks” to first base, and they are not out.
  4. There are six outs total in every inning – three for each team.
  5. When a person scores, or runs over home plate, they have scored one point for their team.

Football:

  1. A team has the ball and crosses the line into the end zone – they receive six points. This is a touchdown.
  2. After they score a touchdown, they get the ball back and can either punt it through the two goal posts for one extra point, or they can try and score another small touchdown for their team for two extra points.
  3. The players are allowed to tackle. Don’t think they’re fouling each other!

I don’t know a thing about hockey – I wish I could help you out there! So next time you’re hanging out with your guy and his friends watching a big game, throw out a casual comment about how that player should “Shoot a three!” or “He better start throwing some strikes!” You’ll get some extra brownie points with his friends, and look super cute to your man.

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