When a woman whispers about the length of another woman’s skirt, she’s drawing from the same reasoning as the man who takes the short skirt for sexual consent. Both view the woman as no more than a doll, an object for whom they want to design the purpose.
I remember a party in which I was pulled aside by a man I knew. When I said no, he made a comment about the clothes I wore. I pushed him away, and he told me my clothes said otherwise, implying that I wore them for him as an invitation.
Fortunately, I was able to push his intoxicated body aside. But had another woman overheard, I would hope she would defend me, not criticize my outfit choice or agree that I was asking for it.
Women are objectified right down to the base of our language. We describe wo(men)’s bodies in comparison to (men), gendered titles like “Mr.” applies to all who identify as men but “Ms.” or “Mrs.” dividing women according to marital status, which most assume to be to a man. In our society, women are the objects who depend upon the subjects, men, to select them.
Women accept this role because femininity requires it and success often depends on how one performs traditional gender roles. You can see this in the consequences faced by those who choose otherwise, e.g., the pitiable old woman who didn’t want children or the “whipped” man who welcomes his partner’s opinions. Or more severely, when a woman is blamed for her rape because of her clothing, which failed to meet the pure, feminine ideal.
Women’s reliance upon men for sexual selection encourages competition and consequently slut shaming, which women use to increase their chances to win a man. Not only does slut shaming bash the targeted woman’s reputation, but it also attempts to raise the speaker’s, implying she would never participate in such unfeminine behavior. It is from men’s labeling of women as “easy” or a “prude,” that women learn how to perceive each other and decide who to shame.
Most would not condone that a woman prioritize her role as a partner in an unhealthy relationship over her role as a sister or a friend. Yet, when a woman slut shames, she judges a woman on how she fulfills the traditional feminine ideal over all else. These are the same ideals that view women as objects for men’s taking.
Rather than competing over who can be the top pick for men, women could define themselves outside of this traditional gendered context. Instead of man-dependent objects, women should define themselves as subjects active in the sexual decisions they make.