1. The last time you washed your hair.
God made baseball caps for a reason.
2. The work out clothes you’re wearing are for a “comfy cute” look. You have absolutely no intention of going to the gym.
Do these sneakers make me look active?
3. Your “I’m gonna puke” face.
Excuse me, driver? You’re going to need to pull over.
4. How ugly you look when you cry.
Runny mascara and boogers are not your best look.
5. How many hours you spent lying on the couch doing absolutely nothing.
They’re just judging because they’re jealous.
6. Whomever you secretly hate for no particular reason.
Because, obviously, they hate them too.
7. Your irrational fears.
I just saw a spider, so we need to move.
8. Your shameless on-campus crush.
And everything you found out about them via social media stalking.
9. How often/long you nap.
College is hard, okay?
10. What food is absolutely, positively yours and ONLY yours.
There’s no “u” in bagel bites.
11. Every disgusting bodily function.
You know it’s true.
12. Outfit repeating.
So what I wore this on Monday, I have totally different classes on Tuesdays.
13. That you drunk texted your ex.
Sometimes, they’ll even pretend to be surprised!
14. How often you make your bed/clean your room.
There’s no hiding in close quarters.
15. The frequency of your “I don’t want to adult” anxiety attacks.
I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine.