Far too often, we overlook how important our relationship with ourselves is. We spend money on gifts making sure our significant others are happy. We dedicate lunch dates to satisfying our friendships. We spend walks to class on the phone making sure our family knows they are loved and not forgotten amid the mess of college life. But how many of us take time out of our busy days to spend time showing ourselves some love? We are so caught up handing out our love to those we care about, we often forget to leave some for ourselves. Loving yourself may seem intuitive, but it’s when we struggle with obstacles that we realize the only way to properly make decisions is to make them out of self-awareness and self-love.
Similar to how we only wish for the most supportive people around us, we should only do what is best for our own internal happiness. Here are five simple steps to get struck by Cupid and fall in love with yourself all over again.
1. Appreciate what you look likeThis may sound hard because we are often trying to work on improving our appearances. We resent the skin we were born in and try to hide it with cosmetics. We aim to change our natural curls and straighten it religiously every morning. We aren’t happy with our stomachs so we only buy shirts one size bigger. Imagine how much easier it would be to just be at peace with our appearance.This won’t happen overnight and it will take lots of reminders, but it is worth doing. We need to learn to love our naturally frizzy hair, our acne that lasted way past puberty and our extra cushion when we hug others. Our hair is not ugly; it’s natural. Our skin is not disgusting; it’s human. And our bodies are not fat; they’re genetically formed and we have very little say on how tall, wide, thin or round they decide to be. Eating right and exercising is only one element of health. It’s equally vital to our health to love what we see in the mirror. Perhaps we are all still a work in progress, but we at least need to learn to love the ride.
2. Learn to love your majorThis may sound obvious, but what we major in ultimately dictates what career we do for the rest of our lives, so why not at least spend our time and money on learning something that we love? Don’t stay in engineering if the thought of math repulses you, don’t stay pre-med if you can’t stand the sight of chemical structures, and don’t continue as a journalism major if your writer’s block seems indefinite.If you are willing to spend a large portion of your life studying a topic, you need to make sure it makes you the happiest you there is. If it doesn’t make you excited to go to class and get up in the morning, then you shouldn’t dedicate the rest of your working life to it. Let’s face it — homework sucks and studying for exams is generally not an enjoyable activity. But if you’re striving toward your dream job, then you might as well love your major that is leading you there.
3. Love the people you surround yourself withWe may not notice it, but our personalities and ambitions are largely influenced by those who we spend our most time with. If you spend your time around fun party people who only care about going out, you may find yourself lacking friends to go to the library with. Likewise, if you surround yourself with people who love to gossip, you will most likely end up unhappy when you realize they are also gossiping about you.Life is all about balance, and having a balanced group of friends will probably lead you to a happier tomorrow. Smiles are contagious, so if you spend your days with happy people who are comfortable with themselves, then you will consequently end up in a more comfortable relationship with yourself.
4. Stop waiting for someone to fall in love with youWe spend far too much time romanticizing life and waiting for “the one” to come along and fall madly in love with us. We need to stop waiting for this imaginary fairy tale to occur and do things for us, not for a hypothetical admirer.Wear a dress because it makes you feel free. Listen to songs that make your soul happy. Sit in a coffee shop alone and write. Go on adventures with yourself and with your friends. Stop being so caught up in how you want others to perceive you and just be ridiculously in love with yourself. Romance will not make your life any fuller. It is up to you to fulfill your life, not up to roses and chocolates.
5. Get out and exerciseWorking out releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. (Shoutout to Elle Woods for that one.) Being happy makes you enjoy life. I personally am always reluctant to drag myself to the gym, but without fail I always feel significantly happier afterwards. Run your worries away, lift your troubles out of sight, and sprint toward a better you. With the scenic running routes through UF’s campus, and two convenient on-campus gyms, there really is no excuse for staying in bed today. Bed feels nice, but body chemicals that lift your spirits will leave you feeling nicer. Turn off Netflix and turn on the treadmill.
Once you can fall in love with yourself, you begin to see the world through a more beautiful filter. Don’t worry that there aren’t many novels or movies on people falling in love with themselves. You can write your own story.