The Dates
Spring break March 6 – March 13
Spring weekend April 15th – 17th
Summer end of April
Break up season is currently upon us. We are in the midst of this terrible time for relationships. You know, essentially the start of March to the start of May. Spring Break, Spring Weekend, and summer all just spell out H-E-L-L for relationships. Break ups are my specialty, no not because I’m a jerk, but because I also own a website “SignsYourExWantsYouBack.com” where I give relationship advice mainly around breaking up and getting back together. How do we handle breakup season? Evaluate our relationship, decide we if got an “all seasoner” on our hands worth keeping around, or if it’s time to cut our losses and move forward.
Spring and Spring
It’s no big secret that alcohol and partying rarely helps keep a relationship together. These dates happen to contain party central. When is there more raging then Spring Break and Spring Weekend? Exactly. You have to be realistic in relationships no matter how hard it is. Ladies, we need to turn off our emotions a little and look into logic. If you’re going on separate spring break trips, bad sign. One of you going to spring weekend but not that other? Another bad sign. Now I understand some relationships have stood the test of time and will handle these speed bumps with little friction. Newer relationships on the other hand rarely handle these *curve balls* . Plus who really wants to be in a relationship over Spring Break or Spring Weekend? There’s a much better chance of you breaking up, and getting back together a little bit down the road, rather then someone cheating and permanently ending the relationship. When it comes to relationships “Trust is like a vase.. once it’s broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.”
Summer
Over summer you should either be grinding (school, job, or internship) or partying. Both of these can put stress on a relationship. Your new 40 hour a week job doesn’t leave enough time for your significant other as well, straining the relationship. Yes, those nights he goes out with his boys, he will be eyeing those Summer B freshmen. The bigger issue is: location. If you both aren’t going to be in the same area for summer, it’s probably not going to work. I’ve heard stories about you ladies keeping your UCF boyfriend while reuniting with your hometown man over the summer. Even if you’re cold enough to pull it off, the guilt will cause an unfixable dent in your relationship. If he is going home, the same rules still apply. Few things suck more than staying dedicated to someone, missing out on other opportunities, and getting the “sorry I cheated” slap in the face. If either one of you are graduating and/or moving into the real world, it’s also a good idea to end things.
Clues You Fit Into Break Up Season
Unnecessary Fighting– arguing is fine, as long as it has a point and you learn from what happened. You have to learn from the bad to appreciate the good. Arguing about the same nonsense over and over again might signal that you’ve reached a plateau in your relationship.
Lack of Intimacy – you used to have sex almost every night and now only once in a blue moon? Physical intimacy mirrors emotional intimacy. Be concerned when the sex goes.
Spending Less Time Together – boys night out is important, it keeps you two from ONLY hanging out with each other. When it seems like he rather have boys night every night, and date nights fall by the wayside, you may have a problem.
Cheating– if either of you cheated, consider the relationship done.
Long Distance / Future Plans– he’s moving to New York after he graduates and your moving to South Florida. It’s no big deal junior year, but midway through senior year it starts becoming more real. I’ve yet to see a long distance relationship truly work out.
Moving Forward
Enjoy your freedom! It’s time for you to get the partying out of your system, meet new people, and move forward productively. You’ll have more time to focus on that internship and saving money over the summer. Please ladies, no lurking. Don’t constantly stalk all his status updates, pictures, and mobile uploads. You should be much too busy with your girlfriends and actual important things to have time for such foolishness. Every status will simply be over thought and created into a monster it isn’t. (I go as far as hiding my ex’s from my minifeed and recommend it. If I want to see what’s going on with them, I’ll call them up. Not lurk them like a crazy ex.)
“Fall” Back
As we ease back into fall, do you two get back together? Depends. If you broke up for logical reasons (different locations over summer, too busy for each other, etc.) then the relationship can definitely still have future potential. If you obviously broke up to party away SB and SW, probably not worth getting back into. God forbid if he left you and legitimately told you it was to do his thing, don’t go back.
It might sound cynical, but sadly it’s just realistic. I’ve seen the brightest couples do the shadiest things during break up season. It’s much better to be preemptive, then to break up cause you got cheated on. I’m very against cheating, never have, but I’m also smart enough to keep myself out of bad situations. If I’m exclusive with someone, I don’t put myself into a situation where something might happen. By all means I hope you have someone worth navigating the white waters of BU Season with, but don’t force it.
If you think you’re going to struggle with being single, put your worries away by reading
5 ReasonstoLoveBeingSingleinCollege.