Tinder has a fairly negative reputation amongst teenagers and college students. It’s known widely as “the hook up app” and of being solely used to find one-night flings and hook ups. While there is a sphere of the application that is used in that manner, there are many more dimensions and possibilities within the app that aren’t as easy to see.
Tinder can be used for a wide variety of reasons: to have a flirty one-night adventure, to find new friends or to help grow self-confidence.
The reason I created my Tinder two summers ago was the latter, but ending up with an amazing boyfriend was just one of the unexpected yet beautiful results I got from the app.
The application allows you to match with girls or guys in the area and age range of your choice. I had created my Tinder toward the end of summer with the intent of meeting some new guys and seeing if any real connections could be made. I thought, in the worst case scenario I’d end up with a new friend or a funny story.
I went on three dates during the summer. They were all with guys that I had gotten to know fairly well during our conversations over text before the date. I didn’t feel any instant connections with the guys that I met, but I did get to try new restaurants, get my meals paid for, and talk about all of the assets of myself that I felt were the coolest and most important about me.
On first dates, while you and your date are getting to know each other better, you end up wanting to showcase the parts of yourself that you love the most. This kind of social interaction did nothing but wonders on boosting my self-confidence.
Whether or not it worked out with the guy, I felt my confidence and love for myself grow. The dates helped me develop better conversation skills as well. And, I mean, who doesn’t like getting treated to a dinner and ice cream date?!
I didn’t need affirmation from the guy so I could feel good about myself. Instead, it was the conversations we had that would force me to talk about myself in a positive light and the courage it took for me to say “yes” to going out that helped boost my self-confidence.
It wasn’t until I was back in Davis when I matched with the guy who I’ve now been with for the past nine months. As I was getting to know him, I had completely forgotten how we met. After our first date, our connection grew through the times we spent hanging out in person rather than our initial swipe rights for each other.
It can be awkward at times to tell our friends the story of how we met because we know that there are people who will jump to quick judgments and associate the negative aspects of Tinder with how we met. But we’ve quickly gotten over hiding behind how we met and instead learned to appreciate the great connection the app allowed us to create.
If I hadn’t rejected the negative stigma associated with the “hook up” app, I would have never forced myself to take the risk of meeting new people and creating a real connection with one of them. Tinder, I have you to thank for free meals, boosting my self-confidence, and finding my boyfriend!