Finding a way to hide those love bites is as easy as prevention, or as difficult as braving the onlookers
Help! My new girlfriend and I got a little carried away last night, and now my neck is a demolition of love bites. What do I do?
- Lover’s Hiccup
Ah, love. Is there anything more charming than the intense passion of those first few can’t-get-my-hands-off-you weeks — or more staining on your innocent flesh? The dreaded hickey is one sure-fire way to ensure people know you’re excited about who you’re seeing, but for those who are less excited about people seeing the evidence (Mom and Dad never seem to be impressed by how good a kisser your date is, right?), there are a few techniques you can use to conceal those revealing marks.
First: the prevention. There’s a slick moment right before feel-good turns into looks-bad, and it’s all about the pressure. That sucking action is what usually causes the blood cells to be drawn up near the skin’s surface and sometimes burst — causing a discoloured bruise — but all it takes is easing off before it gets to that point. Nibbling, licking, even light tugging with teeth on skin shouldn’t cause too much stress to the tissue (unless, of course, you’re as delicate as a petal). But the minute that pressure turns to sucking, whether you’re dating a vixen or a vampire, that blood is going to show. If you can’t help but indulge in the feeling, have your kisser aim at an equally sensitive but more inconspicuous spot than your neck: say, wrists, breasts or sides.
If it’s too late for all that, there are a few old wives’ techniques that work with some skeptical accuracy. First off, throw a wet spoon in the freezer and then press it on your neck to reduce the swelling. You can then take a soft toothbrush and slowly swipe from the inside to the outside of the bruise to get blood flowing again. Another trick is taking a fresh battery and pressing the negative (flat) end of it onto your hickey, then rubbing it around for about a minute. The result will help diffuse that bruise to a gentle red blotchy area, which should quickly fade away. But be careful or it will just become a bigger bruise. And of course, there’s our favourite: concealer with powder on top.
If none of that suits you, find a way to wear your love wound with pride. To those who give you a hard time, boast, “Yeah, but you should have seen the other girl.”