Ask Dona: Week 2

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Hello Collegiettes!

Another week has come our way and another round of answers for all those seeking Dona's two cents. If you haven't yet be sure to leave your questions on the comment box below! 

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Dear Dona,

I really like this guy but I cannot even start a conversation with him. Whenever I see him, my face turns red and I cannot even speak. I am very social person and never had problems with talking to a guy. My friends tell me to start with simple "Hello" and "How are you?" but I am afraid he would think that I am weird. Please help me!

Sincerely,
Tongue-tied

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Dear “Tongue-tied”

Your friends are quite right. Although we all get a little flustered sometimes around guys we like, if you really want to get closer to him, then the first step is to say “hi” and introduce yourself! What could possibly go wrong? That he says “Hi” back and walks away? If that is the case then your dignity remains in tact as that isn’t a long enough conversation for him to see you turn red. No, in all seriousness, just take a deep breath and go up to him. Say you like his t-shirt and simply HAD to tell him. It may sound stupid, but guys like compliments just as much as girls do. Go from there and hopefully conversation will flow. Good luck!

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Dear Dona,

I'm currently in a complicated situation. I just hung out with my best friend over spring break that I haven't seen in a year and it was amazing. We had such a great connection still and we became even closer. He didn't try anything with me and I was super confused. But then I found out that he actually likes me but that he didn't want to ruin our friendship. Please help me.

Sincerely,
Currently stuck in the friend zone

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Dear “Stuck in the friend zone”,

Being in the friend zone is a situation that often hinders a great friendship from turning into a possible great relationship. However just like regular relationships, there will inevitably be ups and downs and could even result in a break up. It’s great that you both still have a strong connection, but I understand that your best friend doesn’t want to risk ruining what you currently have. I’m assuming he lives far away if you were unable to see him for a year, so this adds pressure for taking it further. Have a long talk with him and lay all your cards on the table. If you are both on the same page then you will hopefully come to a conclusion about how to proceed. You may have to wait until you are both in a place, quite literally, where it would be a viable option to become even closer than you already are. My main advice to you is to be patient. It will work out the way it’s meant to.

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Dear Dona,

So I have this complicated relationship with this guy I once dated. There's a lot of flirting between us, most of it sexual tension. (Not in a weird way) And he's my best friend's best friend and she talks about him so much. She's also good friends with his family and they joke how they want her to date this guy. It puts me in a weird place because I can't seem to bring to tell my best friend that there might be feelings for this guy. I hope that made sense....

Sincerely,
I tried

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Dear “I tried”,

This made absolute sense! First of all, you are going to have to pluck up the courage to tell your best friend that you still have feelings for your ex-boyfriend. Even though he is her best friend and she is close to his family, you’ve already dated him, and we all know the unwritten rule about your friends’ ex-boyfriends.. you never go there! Take her out for coffee, and explain how you feel. If she is a good friend then she will completely understand. You may also need to speak to your ex to see if its harmless flirting for him, or if he may still have feelings for you too. It’s all about communication. Don’t expect anyone to be mind readers. Once this is all out in the open, I guarantee you’ll feel so much better!

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Dear Dona,

I'm in a pretty serious relationship right now. He's even dropped the "love bomb". If I can't say it back does that mean we aren't meant for each other. On top of that, I still think about other men. Does that confirm my suspicions?

Sincerely,
Stuck in a rut

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Dear “Stuck in a rut”,

Your inability to say, “I love you”, doesn’t mean that you aren’t meant for one another. Every person takes their own time to get to the point when they can utter these three very powerful words. However, It’s probably the case that you aren’t ready for a serious relationship right now, since you mentioned that you still think about other men. This would be natural if you were casually dating, but since you aren’t, I feel I can confirm your suspicions. Perhaps you should take a break and see how you feel after a week. This may be a breath of fresh air for you, or be the complete opposite and make you realize that you want to continue in the relationship. Giving yourself some time should show you the answer you’re looking for. Remember, your happiness must be the priority when making the decision of what you’re going to do about this relationship.

HCXO, 
Dona

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