Ever since your junior year (or even earlier), you have been mentally preparing yourself for the big separation from home: you researched colleges, took tours, wrote essays and maybe even had overnight visits in dorms. You suffered through the SATs, and researched all possible majors and universities, which was overwhelming but undeniably exciting. When it came time to start packing up, you felt that the last few years had adequately prepared you for your new life, and to assume your role as a confident and smart college woman.
But moving out is a big change, and no matter how prepared you are, the first few months of college are a big adjustment. During this time it is important to remember that being homesick isn’t a sign that you are weak or lacking in any way—it just means that you are missing the comfort and security of being in your hometown, surrounded by familiar faces and routines. Any change in environment can bring about these feelings, and just as there are no exact triggers, there are no exact cures either, as everyone is different. Although these feelings may be uncomfortable when they arise, recognizing them for what they are is the first step toward moving on and getting back to being in the moment.
1. You feel sick/tired/overwhelmed and just want your mom
Homesickness usually hits the hardest when we aren’t feeling happy, because when things go wrong, we think that returning home will make us feel better. This is a natural assumption (and it may even be true in the short-term), but it isn’t a good long-term solution.
What to do?
Next time you feel vulnerable, give your parents or best friend a call so they can help you out, but also realize that there are other things you can do. Netflix, having a night in with your new friends, getting to bed early, or ordering your favorite foods can all do wonders.
2. You feel lonely and awkward in a group of new people and you wish you had your high school friends to back you up
As the school year goes on this may not be as much as a problem, but in college you are bound to find yourself in groups of strangers. This will feel weird at first, and you may yearn for your old friends at home.
What to do?
In situations like these, try to remember that you are not alone in feeling alone. Everyone feels awkward at times, and no one has a perfect social life (even if their Instagram page makes it look that way). Don’t compare yourself to others or think that everyone else has it together–this will only make you feel worse. Instead, see if others are receptive to talking and try to find something that you have in common with those around you. If you feel a connection, you may have just find your new friend group.
3. A dog walks by and you feel the overwhelming urge to cuddle your pup back home
…or whatever type of animal you used to smother with affection at your house. Missing your pets is completely natural, because, let’s face it, they’re absolutely adorable and totally know exactly how to comfort you when you are feeling down.
What to do?
Have your parents send a few pictures or recordings of your favorite pet, just so you can see their cute faces again and pretend to digitally pet them through the screen (warning: this may not be as effective as real life petting).
4. Your dorm is nice, but it doesn’t feel like home
Let’s face it: being in a dorm is a much different vibe than being in your room at home. Living next to all those people and sharing a communal bathroom is certainly an exciting experience, and not to mention an integral part of college, but it can feel a little alienating and overwhelming at times.
What to do?
Find a spot on campus where you can totally relax, whether that is your dorm, the library, a dining hall, or your favorite park. Being able to decompress somewhere is an important part of keeping your sanity, and if you aren’t getting that in your room, it might make you yearn for the familiarity of your bed. In addition, make sure you and your roommate(s) are on the same page about each other’s general routine; nothing can make you more upset than a passive-aggressive discussion about how many people are allowed in the room or what time you need to get to sleep.
5. You realize that you still have 4 more years to go and can’t even deal
Sometimes, the prospect of college as a whole can seem completely overwhelming and make you want to throw your hands up in the air (but not in the fun “raise the roof” kind of way). Between picking a major, applying for jobs and internships, joining clubs, balancing a social life, and going to class, you have a lot on your plate.
What to do?
If these feelings only persist for a short term, they are completely natural. To help soothe your feelings, try the proven stress-busting techniques of getting in a workout, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and making lists of everything you need to get done. Give yourself a night out with girlfriends, or watch an episode of your favorite show, and it’s likely the sensation will pass with time. However, if you begin to feel anxious or depressed all the time, it is important you tell someone or reach out to University Health Services so your case can be assessed by a professional.
Photos: cover photo, 1, 2, 3