Roz “The Diva” Mays graced UConn students with her presence for the second time this year on Thursday, October 27th at 7:00pm in Laurel Hall. In celebration of Fat Talk Free Week hosted by UConn’s Students Helping to Achieve Positive Esteem (S.H.A.P.E.), Roz traveled on a bus (through the October snow!) from New York to speak to students about ways to get rid of guilt and shame in fitness and working out.
The Brooklyn native is a pole dancer and personal trainer who is using her talent and outspoken personality to help people recognize that every person is an athlete. She wants to take the shame and embarrassment out of being “different” than everyone else at the gym. Although being bald, black, and plus size makes Roz different from other trainers, she said all of those traits are what led to her success.
Roz focuses on three major tips when it comes to getting rid of guilt and shame in fitness:
1. Ignore the 5%
Roz explained that the 5% is the people who tell you that “you can’t” and “you won’t” when it comes to working on your fitness. From working with adult clients, she’s learned that things told to us in childhood stick with us into adulthood and are the base for our insecurities. Throughout our fitness experiences, 95% of people support us or do not think twice when they see us in the gym. The other 5% are the people that come up to us and ask “Why are you here?” or say “You don’t belong here.” They are the people who get in the way of our goals. Unfortunately, it is easier for us to listen to the negative than to embrace the positive. But Roz wants everyone to ignore the 5%; ignore the people who are in the way of our goals, both in fitness and in life.
2. Get a squad
Roz is all about being surrounded by the best squad possible. She considers three types of people the most important squad members: The drill sergeant friend, the homie, and the “ass-grabber.” The drill sergeant friend is the squad member who “doesn’t let you get away with crap.” They force you to go to gym even when you don’t want to and they “keep yo butt in line.” We need this person to give us some tough love. The homie squad member is your “cheat meal friend.” They are crucial because they are right there next to you huffing and puffing at the gym, but will still head to happy hour with you afterwards for drinks and tacos. The third essential squad member is the “ass-grabber.” They are there to grab your ass once in awhile to remind you that you are at your best even if you do not always feel that way. Even when you think you are failing, they are there to tell you that they respect and appreciate your progress. No ass-grabbing friend? No problem! Throw on a pair of high heels and strut yourself in front of the mirror and admire how hot you are and how great your butt looks.
3. Be someone else’s light
Roz said this is the most important tip when it comes to ending fitness shame. In her classes, Roz makes her clients go up to someone they have never met, introduce themselves, and compliment that person on one of their muscles. This is her way of having her clients be the light for someone else. She expressed how doing something as simple as high-fiving someone could make their day and boost their confidence. “Tell someone good job,” Roz explained, “because you never know – that person might have been told ‘you can’t’ or ‘you won’t.’” Be the light for the darkness that the 5% put them in.
In addition to Roz’s three main tips to overcome the guilt and shame you might feel about working out, she believes that “the number one place your self-esteem should come from is you.” In the end, you are in control of how you feel about yourself.
Roz ended her talk with a powerful 12-minute documentary titled Dangerous Curves about her life as a plus-sized pole dancer. The film is beautifully edited and gives viewers a very personal look into her exciting, admirable life.
If you want to know more about how Roz got started in pole dancing and fitness training, check out last semester’s article about when she visited UConn for S.H.A.P.E.’s National Eating Disorder Awareness Week.
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*All photos courtesy of Katie Landrey of UConn S.H.A.P.E.