I was told for a while transferring schools takes a lot of courage. You have to start over at a new place, with new people for a second time, and you can’t look back. While all these things are true, if you feel like you aren’t in the place you want to spend the rest of your college years, why stay there? I always had a feeling that I wanted to transfer, but it wasn’t until I officially left after my freshman year (yes, this is very late for transferring) that I realized, I wasn’t super excited to go back. I read up on articles about “Tips for Transferring” and “How To Make Friends At A New School” that told me tips like joining clubs and being as friendly and social as possible, but after being at Tulane for a few months, I realized there are a lot of things those articles never told me.
1. Making Friends Takes Effort
It makes sense that it takes some effort to find friends- they don’t just fall into your lap- but it’s not the kind of effort I had expected. It’s different than the kind of friendships you make when you’re a freshman, because it is not as totally acceptable to walk up to every person you meet and introduce yourself. It’s more easy to meet people through experiences or friends you have in common. The main effort comes in after you are familiar with a ton of people; weeding through those to find the ones you want to keep closer, and keeping up the relationships with them.
2. Find Quality Not Quantity
You may know a bunch of people’s names, and say hello as you’re passing by them, but it’s really the people you make plans with, or who stop you to have a conversation that are considered “friends.” Find the people you actually have something to talk about with, and who you could see yourself calling when you need help or advice. Make sure to be your true self- even though you’re at a new school, you shouldn’t put on an act to be anyone other than you or you’ll probably end up unhappy and with the wrong friends. At the end of the day, if you wave hello to everyone, but find that you’re lacking people you enjoy eating with or going out with at night, you still won’t be happy wherever you are.
3. Eat in the Dining Hall
This one goes mostly for sophomores- especially at Tulane where we have to live on campus- bruff can be the best place to meet people. I have a kitchen in my apartment on campus, and I still find that I am constantly eating at bruff or LBC because you bruff with your friends, and then they bring their friends, and you have more people to meet. Plus, this is probably your last time not having to cook for yourself, so why not enjoy someone else serving you on a meal plan for a little bit longer.
4. Live on Campus
While Tulane does have a policy that sophomores have to live on campus, it can really be beneficial for all transfer students. Living on campus makes it easy to be around at any time, and walk over to your friends’ rooms when you’re bored to hang out, and probably meet even more people!! When people move off campus, it can feel lonely having to make meals for yourself, and losing the social part of hanging out in common rooms and meeting people in the laundry room.
5. It’s Intimidating
After the first or second semester, everyone has found their group in some way, and so you are stepping into a new territory where people already know a good amount of people. It can be hard for some to let others into their friend group when you’re new and they’re used to hanging out with their friends without you. The key is to not get discouraged! Everyone has room for new friends, and if you both enjoy hanging out together, you will despite the change it may cause.
6. Classes Will Change Too
Depending on the kind of school you’re coming from and transferring to, the class sizes and difficulties could change. In the midst of figuring out your social life and friendships, it’s important to remember that you are in college for your education. Keep up with the change in classes; just because you went to a different college, it doesn’t mean your study habits will be the same. Since you are basically a freshman with your 0.0 GPA, you might as well start going to office hours and study sessions more, and maybe even reading your textbook!
7. You’re Basically A Freshman
Having a 0.0 GPA isn’t the only way you might feel like a freshman. People assume since you’re a sophomore or junior, that you know what you’re doing. I still have a map of the school buildings on my phone and have to look at it whenever I go to office hours or a study session, because they’re different from the 5 buildings I go to in my normal schedule. You have to give yourself a break from trying to act like you know everything here (though you probably researched and looked at every article you could find on the school). You have been to the school for the same amount of time as a freshman- or less if you transfer in the spring, so let people help you out, and ask people where something is if you don’t know.
At the end of the day, transferring was one of the best decisions I’ve made. I love the dining hall food (yes I am a big bruff fan), I can walk around and just enjoy having a decent-sized campus, and I appreciate the little things so much more. If it’s the right place, you’ll feel like you never went anywhere else.