On one of my commutes to my internship in Boston this past summer, I finally got to reading Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay. In one of her essays, “The Alienable Rights of Women,” she discusses how the freedom of birth control has ironically become a restriction for women. In a world of sexual empowerment, women are still sexually burdened. I won’t go into a full summary of the essay, but here’s an excerpt that stuck with me:
Suffice it to say, I will take a pill every day when men have that same option. We should all be in this together, right? One of my favorite moments is when a guy, at that certain point in a relationship, says something desperately hopeful like, “Are you on the pill?” I simply say, “No, are you?”
Both men and women are equally responsible in baby-making, so why is it that women bear most of the responsibility of contraception? Social media is abuzz right now with discussions of the phenomenon of male birth control. It is in the form of injectable hormones consisting of 1,000 milligrams of a synthetic form of testosterone and 200 milligrams of norethisterone enanthate. For years, male birth control has existed and been tested, yet the trials have been halted due to some complaints of mood swings, depression and increased libido.
However, only 3% of men in the trial experienced mood swings or depression. If I were to ask a room of college women if they or a friend had gone emotionally off the walls after starting a birth control pill, I’m willing to bet most of the room would answer “yes.” Why? Because 20-30% of women who take oral birth control experience depression. But birth control pills are still widely used. I don’t know about you, but I’m having a hard time seeing the problem with the 3% of men experiencing the emotional destruction that up to 30% of women may endure when using birth control pills.
The physical and emotional distress women go through just so they match the sexual freedom of men is astounding. But while we women simply comply to bearing all responsibility, men are free to have sex how they please (for the most part). I suppose condoms could be considered a burden for men. They have complaints like: Sex with condoms doesn’t feel as good! Condoms are uncomfortable! Condoms are expensive, and the free ones are shitty!
Let me explain why condoms are not burdensome in the grand scheme of birth control. After four trips to the OB/GYN, two blood tests and a visit to a radiology department for an ultrasound, I was able to get an IUD (intrauterine device). After my cervix was pried open (with pain supposedly matching that of childbirth) and a piece of plastic was shoved in to my uterus, I became baby free for five years. My doctor said I would feel cramping for the next three months. The supposed “cramping” feels like a hand reaches into my lower abdomen and wrings out my cervix. I feel this while taking an exam or while going to bed, or while working out. I feel it now as I write this. But I just have to ride the pain out for a few months, and then I can forget there’s a piece of plastic inside of me.
Talk to me when the condom you put on the other night made you feel a microcosm of childbirth months after you used it. That may be a bit dramatic, but the point still stands. I have gone through a lot of pain so that I may feel a man’s blissful ignorance while they know they cannot get pregnant.
Now that we know men may have access to birth control that isn’t condoms, why aren’t we pouring money into its production and distribution? Sure, plenty of men would have nothing to do with birth control shots that stop sperm production (what an emasculating idea, obstructing the very thing that makes man a man!). Yet, I believe the educated modern man who has big plans for his future (that exclude being a baby daddy at a young age) would be willing to use male birth control. It is my understanding this new injection has a few mild side effects of muscle soreness, increased libido and issues with acne. To be frank, that is child’s play compared to what women experience. Try manic mood swings, intense cramping, hair loss, and constant bleeding as accepted side effects.
I am excited that male birth control exists and can be effective. I’m even more excited that there are men willing to use it and that a little more of the sexual burden will be put on men. In the near future, men will be free to ask “Are you on the pill?” and women will be free to ask “Are you on the shot?” Until then, I will continue to be bitter about the nonsense I put up with to get an IUD. And I will continue to be bitter about how men do not share enough of the responsibility of contraception.
Photo source: New York Magazine