In the dating world, it is never easy to know when a potential love interest is already involved with a significant other. There are countless moments throughout the day with opportunities to flirt and wonder about someone, but not so many that allow immediate questioning about someone’s relationship status.
Unfortunately, stalking someone on Facebook does not always produce accurate results. People spend months and months in relationships without publicizing it on the web, which makes it difficult for men interested in women to know who is unavailable. For all the women out there who are completely devoted to their boyfriend, but know that there is a possibility they are going to get hit on throughout the course of their day, there are ways to tell a guy about your relationship status. The problem with telling a man right away that you are taken is the implication that you are making an instant assumption about his intentions.
In order to let these guys down easy, there are multiple ways to hint at the status of your availability and casually drop the boyfriend bomb. It is flattering to know that a girl can still be desirable despite her relationship status, but it is unfair to assume that every interaction with the opposite sex is coated with impure intention. With that being said, girls do have very good intuition and usually know when a guy is hitting on them or has some interest in them.
The best way to let a guy know quickly is to incorporate something about your boyfriend into the conversation (“Yeah, my boyfriend likes to watch football, too!”) This is the easiest and least awkward way to let a guy down easy and usually works when you are out with the girls, walking through campus or a cute guy sits by you at the Tech Center. There are an excess of opportunities to drop the “boyfriend” bomb as an offhand comment during a normal conversation. This will cause the hopeful to back off with some pride for being brave enough to talk to an attractive girl.
In any situation where a guy is trying to get you alone (coffee date, study time, late-night Insomnia Cookies run, etc.) that is an instant warning sign. If you have not hinted at the fact that you have a boyfriend by this point, then it’s necessary to do so. A relationship can develop between two people if they spend enough time alone together. To do anything with another person alone is a very intimate thing. When two people are simply interacting and talking freely together a comfortable space is created, in which the idea of a future can begin to take form. Think back to the beginning of your relationship with your current significant other – the moments where you began to fall for them were probably created within the activities you did alone together. The special dates, the late-night talks, etc. allow so much time for someone to get to know another person.
It is more difficult when the potential guy is not some random person, but actually a male friend who is unaware that you have a boyfriend. It is the age old “When Harry Met Sally” question: Can guys and girls truly be just friends? Although there is never a simple answer, knowing that guy friends can become interested is a common possibility. If you have been talking with a guy friend for a while and he doesn’t know you have a boyfriend, then you should acknowledge the fact that you have not said anything. Doing this will prevent you from leading him on farther. The dynamic of the friendship may change based on rejection of his advances, but this is necessary in order to keep an honest relationship with your boyfriend and with your guy friend.
In a case where you become reconnected with someone from your past after a while and within that time you started a new relationship with someone, you should let him know ASAP about your new relationship status. In the normal catching-up banter phase, there is always a chance to say that you have a boyfriend (“Oh things are great with school, work, and my new boyfriend!”).
Knowing that every situation is different, at least try these simple and easy ways to let someone know that you are taken. When you return home to your significant other, your boyfriend can find comfort in the fact that you have no difficulty letting guys down easily. This will be reaffirming evidence of your love for your partner and will hopefully lead to a well deserved snuggle session.