“The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don’t. But, in the end, they’re the people you always come home to. Sometimes it’s the family you’re born into and sometimes it’s the one you make for yourself.”
As I check my phone after a grueling workout, I’m distracted by the gleaming reflection of Mcdonald’s on my screen, but more importantly I’m baffled by the missed call from “home.” An empty phone contact rarely used except for school advice and money, I wondered what the call could’ve possibly been about.
If you have a family like mine, holidays are filled with psychotic breaks, drunken outbursts, and awkward realities. Silence is more common than chatter and even weather comments wiggle their way into the conversation, classifying itself as worse than the 5-minute conversation solely about cats during rush. “Family time” results in screaming matches and disappointment, as the holidays stand as an ironic reminder that we’re as distant from each other than ever.
Over time, I’ve adapted to my situation, forming my own makeshift family of friends, mentors, and a boyfriend if I’m lucky. I’ve always looked at my improvised relatives as a vulnerability, scared that I rely on them more than they rely on me. Yet, my friends stand by me because they want to, not because they are obligated by blood and that’s a comfort I’ve come to appreciate.
Holidays can be great, especially for those who share a special bond of selfies and inside jokes with their loved ones. If you’re one of those lucky ducks, please take a moment to enjoy the warmth and love around you. As corny as it sounds, if you haven’t noticed how lucky you are by now, you’re crazy. We all have our squabbles with the fam, as Dad tries to give you a curfew, treating you like you’re five, and Mom won’t stop talking for you to get in a word edge wise. The best and worst thing about family is that no matter how much you hate to admit it, you’re similar. Buttons and vulnerable pinpoints are easy to spot and even easier to push. Move past them and appreciate the fact that someone cares and loves you enough to know those in the first place. Besides, Christmas is boring without a little drama.
Holidays can also be rough… For those who are like me, don’t be bogged down by the stereotypical definitions of family. Family can include whoever you want it to, and if you can’t be thankful for the family you were born into, be thankful for the one you’ve chosen for yourself.