This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Scranton chapter.
With movies like “The Duff” resurfacing the old ideas of “Mean Girls” it had me thinking a lot about “friends.” It always seems when everyone else is having a good time you’re not. But when you’re having a good time it still seems like everyone else is having a great time. So what’s the deal with “friends” these days?!
“Friends” are the people you text to see if they want to get coffee. Friends are the people who know your coffee order and best friends are the people who show up at your door unannounced with your coffee in hand… if you find these people hold onto them.
Four years later and things have changed in so many ways. But I think the thing that’s changed the most is who I call my “friends.” I’d be lying if I said over the course of my college career I had the same friends by my side. My “best” friends have come and gone and I’ve never really been a part of a “group.” I’m more of a floater, I’m friends with different people in separate friendship groups. I always thought this meant something was wrong with me. How come I don’t fit into one perfectly formed group? Why didn’t I have the perfect roommate and the most amazing floor mates my first year, and why aren’t they still in my life today?
Now looking back, I’ve come to realize that it’s ok. I’m not the only person who didn’t have a perfect first semester. Or the only one who isn’t friends with those “friends” from freshmen year. I think it’s important to realize this and know it’s ok. College is a different experience for everyone. Maybe the person you thought would always be there for you didn’t show up when you needed them but the random girl next door did. Or maybe a girl who sat behind you in management has become your go-to, ride or die best friend. We never know who is going to have an impact on our lives and how long those “friends” will be there.
Your friends from grammar school and high school will drift away. You may think that four years won’t make a difference but even if they don’t in reality they do. You can still be best friends with your friend of the past 10 years. But it’s important to know things change. You make new friends and so does she and that’s ok. It’s also ok to feel sad about it but remember you’re making new friends too. No one will ever replace that best friend but they may drift away a little bit.
It’s also ok to have different “best” friends. There’s your best friend that you could not speak to for months and she’ll still be there in a blink of an eye. There’s your best friend that you could sit in a room with, not speak and know no one is mad at each other. Then there’s your best friend that you’re attached to at the hip. For some people one best friend embodies all of these things and for others it’s different people.
My mom always taught me “that it’s better to have a few great friends you can count on than to have a million who won’t show up when you need them.” Growing up I always thought about this but I think it only really hit me recently. Twenty-two years later and I finally realize just how true this is. Whether you’re a first year student or getting ready to graduate it’s so important to realize that everything changes. We can’t control everything, even the friendships that drift away and those that stay. There’s no telling how over time things will change and in the end that’s ok.
I truly do think it’s more important to have a few amazing friends who will do anything for you than to try to be friends with everyone. Looking back at these past four years I’m thankful for those “friends” who have drifted away. Those “friends” have made me value my true friends that much more. So always remember that everything really does happen for a reason and people leave so better ones can come.