So, now that you’ve had about a month to settle into living in the same room as another person, you’ve probably started to feel the irritation, anger and issues that tend to come with that, even if you’re best friends with your roommate. But even though you may be having issues and feel like there’s no way out, I’m here to let you know that you don’t have to be best friends with your roommate, but you definitely don’t have to be their enemy. For those of you who feel helpless and don’t know what to do and for those of you who only want to make your relationship with your roommate better, here are 5 tips to help you live your best life while living with someone else.
1. Talk to Your Roommate
This may seem like an odd thing, but you’d be surprised at how little roommates actually communicate with each other. We’re all social beings, whether you’re friends or not, and having someone tell you they hope you have a nice day is something as simple as saying hi. After you’ve had a long day, it’ll do wonders for your psyche… trust me. It’ll make both of you feel like you aren’t just ghosts moving in and out of your room. Give them a heads up if you’re going home for the weekend or if you’re not going to sleep in the room that night. Communication’s literally the biggest problem between problematic roommates so just remember that it starts there. And don’t tell me its “too hard!!” If you can talk to your pets, you can talk to the person you’re living with. They’ll listen to you because they just want to have a good living situation too.
2. Clean Up Your Crap
Back home, whether you were a neat freak or a slob, you probably didn’t have a roommate. And if you did, it was probably your brother or sister, so you still had the freedom to do whatever you wanted with your stuff. But you’re in college now and you no longer have that freedom to leave your things around like you used to. You have to keep your things on your side. Don’t make a mess in the things you share, like the sink or the fridge or the microwave, or even the floor! Be careful what you track in from outside. Don’t leave your clothes lying around, take the trash out so it doesn’t stink up your room, etc. Now before you say “But Mom…”, and that’s a valid thing to say because some of these things are things that your mother would tell you to do, but your mom isn’t here anymore and you have to do it to yourself. You’re accountable for how you live now and it’s only going to better your relationship with your roommate if you don’t make them feel like they need to ask you to clean up your crap. Also, someone once said a clean room is a clean mind… or something like that, but if you have a messy side of the room and they’re used to having things organized, you may be affecting how they feel and making them more stressed. It’s a respect thing. For yourself and your roommate.
3. Showers
Now some of you probably don’t have community showers but this point still applies… DON’T LEAVE HAIR OR ANYTHING ELSE ON THE WALLS OF THE SHOWERS. IT’S NASTY. No one will want to live with you if you do this and like I said it applies to both community showers and those of you who have your own. It also goes back to the whole clean up after yourself kinda thing. It’s just common courtesy.
4. Know Your Roommate’s Schedule
It’s good to just have an understanding of when your roommate wakes up, prefers to go to bed, is in the room studying and has free time. The thing about this tip is mostly just about respecting each other. If you have a loud and annoying alarm that goes off at 6 am and your roommate doesn’t have class until 11:30 am, I guarantee they’ll resent you for the rest of the day. Which also means you need to have an alarm that’s not annoying and if you can try to make it something quiet but loud enough so that it only wakes you up. This is a tough predicament but trust me, it can be done. Going along with this, after you get out of bed and are getting ready for your 8:10 am, be as quiet as you can. If you’re slamming closet doors, and opening and shutting drawers and being loud and obnoxious, you’re going to have a problem, because although yes you have to wake up to go to class early, you’re still in the wrong.
5. Lights
Like I said before, you and your roommate will more than likely have different schedules and times that you sleep and study and such. I had a conversation with my friend the other day about how her roommate shut the lights off on her when she was still reading because she wanted to go to bed. Now, this is once again not respectful. This can feel like a common issue but it has some simple solutions. You can get some fairy/twinkle/Christmas lights that go on your side of the room and are less harsh than the actual room lights, so you could keep working and your roommate could still go to sleep if they needed to. Another alternative could be to get a reading light for your bed or a small lamp for your desk if that’s what you’re into. And then if all of these fail, my last suggestion would be to just study somewhere else if you really need the lights that bright or ask your roommate if it’s cool if you keep the lights on and then give them a time estimate of when you’ll be done.
Overall you’ll find that most of these problems can be fixed with just using common courtesy, respect, and communication. The way to have the best roommate experience is by setting an example of how you want them to live. And even after all of that, I know that there are still potential issues that could arise, so here are some things that you need to have conversations with your roommate about before they become problems:
- Having people in the room
- Having people stay overnight in the room
- Having alcohol in the room
- Open vs Closed door policy
- Are you going to always have your door locked?
Once again these are just some ideas and tips to get you started but I definitely believe that you can have a good roommate experience if you’re willing to try and put the work into it.