It’s summer, and we all know what that means: the clothes come off and we put on our summer best as we flock to the beach to get our tan on and go for a swim. However, with this time of year come the headlines, commercials and social media posts about how to achieve the “perfect beach bod” or “your flattest abs for summer.” Though you may not be necessarily looking for them, they are looking straight at all of us: in the supermarket, on the way to work, even on your favorite Instagram pages. The notorious diets, the questionable detoxes, even inside looks on what your favorite celebrities eat… in our digital world, these messages are everywhere.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all about fitness. I love the gym; I believe in the goodness of sweating during a good workout, and I believe that, in some ways, pain is gain. However, what I have come to realize is that there is a fine line between staying fit and in-shape for yourself and struggling to stay fit in order to meet society’s standards.
My personal body journey started when I was entering high school and was in the midst of many personal, relatable changes with my body. However, I could never understand why I was so disproportioned—I had skinny legs, bigger hips, a smaller waist, no butt (as my friends would tell me), and a big chest. This is the body I developed in my early teens, and the one that I still have today. I was most insecure with my chest and I struggled to understand why no bathing-suit tops ever fit me, or why I had no other choice but to shop at specialty stores because my chest was “too big” for the popular stores my friends all shopped at. I wore “grandma” bathing-suit tops, equipped with underwire and too much coverage.
In my head, I engraved into my brain that everyone stared at me and thought, “thank god I don’t look like that.” Strangers, my best friends, even my family. I felt like such a failure, and worse, I felt like I didn’t belong. I was envious of my friends for wearing the latest bandeau tops from Victoria’s Secret, and as they commented on how they wish they had bigger boobs, I mentally wished I could trade places with them. To me, having a big chest was the worst burden in the entire world. I was so unhappy with the way I looked that I would often hide my body whenever possible, and I seriously debated getting a breast reduction. My doctor told me the size of my breasts did not affect my health in any way, but regardless, I hated them so much I wanted to get rid of them.
By the time of the end of my senior year of high school, I had gained a significant amount of weight, especially in my chest. I stopped playing sports before my junior year and did not focus on my eating habits. I did not realize it at the time, but now as I reflected back on this point of my life, I can see that I gave up on caring for myself because I thought there was nothing I could do to change the way I thought about my body. However, when I entered my freshmen year of college, I made friends that helped me see the importance of going to the gym and eating right. I started to look past hating on the negatives of my body and did what I could to become happier with my body, for me. I learned that I enjoyed taking spin class and that my love for pizza could still exist, in moderation. Now, as a rising senior, I have changed my lifestyle for me, and for me only. My love for food is stronger than ever (I have studying abroad in Italy to thank for that), but so is my love for going to the gym and enjoying the strength I gain with each workout. I know that I have come a long way in my body confidence, and my mentality on body perception has developed into something I think is very important: I stay in shape and fit for myself, not according to society’s standards.
I got rid of the idea that I needed to alter my body in order to fulfill society stereotypes and focused more on my own standards. The body I have is the body I was born with, and why should I feel guilty or imperfect because of it? Why should I avoid self-love because I don’t look like the girl sitting next to me in class, or the blogger I follow on social media? I looked closer at why my thoughts were this way and I realized that it was because society pushes the idea that if you don’t look a certain way, you need to change. The idea that there is one correct body type is a myth, and though this idea is being pushed away (Ashley Graham on the cover of the notorious Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover, Demi Lovato and her movement of confidence) it still exists. I think it’s time society as a whole, especially women, need to stop thinking “how can I look better in a bathing-suit?” and start thinking “how can I get stronger for myself both mentally and physically?”.
At the end of the day, I know it is impossible to change your way of thinking overnight. It also isn’t unrealistic to know that there will be days you don’t love your body. But to me, that’s okay. To me, I’m okay with my thighs touching (because they do) and my chest having cleavage in certain clothing and bathing suits (because they do). I believe in loving yourself, and I believe it’s okay to love yourself in every shape, in any outfit, at any stage in your life. Loving yourself is never a crime; the only crime is not loving yourself because society tells you not to.