When anyone brings it up, people cringe, they look at you weird, and they turn their heads to the side like a confused dog and peer at you with appalled, skeptical eyes. “Why would you want to talk about that?” they asked. “Whoa, Nahj that’s weird.,” they said, or “EWWWW!!” they just about screeched at me. This pretty much sums up how my “interviews” went this past week when I brought up the topic of anal sex. No one wanted to talk about it, and more importantly no one wanted to be the first to disagree with the majority, who said that they did not, would never want to, or have never partaken in anal sex.
Many people usually associate anal sex with pain, the fact that things come out of our butts rather than go in it, or some ridiculous story that your friend heard from her other friend and so on. In today’s age, and in the very nature of college sex, you would think that more people would be open to talk about all types of sex, including anal. In my efforts to try and interview people about their opinions on the subject, most people shut down as soon as the words left my mouth. They went all wide-eyed and hysterical, or made a frowny face and abruptly just said “NO!” Some friends, who I know to be very open in discussing random sex and hooking up, even questioned why I wanted to write about the topic in the first place. My answer: Because no one ever talks about it, and the majority of people feel awkward when they do!
Surprisingly, a few people opened up on what they thought about the topic and one guy was even bold enough to say he tried it! “I’ve tried anal but I found it to be a little strange. The only appeal was that it was new and that anal is tighter than regular sex. For the most part it was okay for me but it was more painful for her [because it was the first time we had done it]” he said. While this brave gent admitted to having had anal sex (with no shame I might add!), some of the other guys around said they still were against it, saying that it was a weird concept and gross. However, I’m still left to wonder if they abhorrently objected to it because their ladies were around. But I guess I’ll never know about that one… Still, the curiosity of anal sex was still there for other guys, who said they would want to try it but only if the girl was comfortable with it, and not at the expense of hurting her. While guys were split on the topic, the majority of the girls asked strictly said no, or said they only would venture that way if they had been with a guy for a substantial amount of time. However, no girl that I spoke to openly welcomed the idea or confessed to having done it.
Anal sex is not just some far off topic only to be associated with same sex relationships or porn. Just like with any other type of sexual position or sexcapade, it’s an attempt at something new. Many of you know, I’m willing to bet, that more people have tried it, want to try it, or have attempted the endeavor and got shut down by their partner. It’s all a matter of not being afraid to talk about it. If you worry about what society or what your friends will think too often, then that’ll hold you back from more than just different sex positions, but simple risk taking adventures in general!
Now I’m not saying go out and have anal sex just to prove you’re big and bad and fearless. But if you have the slightest inclination to try a new position, such as anal, then go for it. However, I do suggest trying it with a partner that you trust and are comfortable with. And most importantly TALK ABOUT IT beforehand. You never want to just spring that on someone. That might make things really awkward really fast. And folks, it’s definitely not something you try with a random hook up on a night out! That may be a surefire way of being uncomfortable, embarrassed, and unsure of what you’re doing. Save it for another time, place, and person. Having anal sex with a random person, rather than someone you are sexually comfortable with, may just be your own little horror story waiting to happen.
Anal sex, along with any other type of position, is all about figuring out what you like and what you don’t like. If you want to try it, then try it! At the same suggestion, if you have no desire for it, then don’t go for it. However, don’t simply allow society to dictate your sexual preferences. After all, being a sexual being is all about having carnal desires and freedoms. There won’t be your best friend, your parents and your reverend in your bed; It’ll be you and your special someone. At the end of the day, isn’t that all that really matters when discovering and quenching your own sexual fantasies?
Until next time my lovelies,