Kids, it’s about that time. Week 9 is wrapping up, and boy, it took long enough. Thank goodness for this long weekend to help us get through finals. Now friends, it is time for my tiny end-of quarter (last one ever ?) rant. I wish professors would recognize it is the end of the quarter.
If anyone has seen the “Lazy College Senior” meme, they would feel my pain. If you haven’t, I have provided the link for you (http://www.quickmeme.com/Lazy-College-Senior/ - warning some questionable language ahead, just sayin’). It features a young, sleepy, man drinking a beer, with various lazy mantras such as, “paper should be 5-8 pages...5 pages it is.” This apathetic soul conveys exactly how I feel right now. Guys, I am burnt out, and I can’t be the only one. I am a junior, and the senioritis has been present since January. I need a break people, we all do.
This little piece is directed toward all my upperclassmen friends. Sorry freshmen, you’re not allowed to feel like my friend the Lazy College Senior, I would kill for a course load like yours right now. I still have papers, and tests, and readings, and I have to find Narnia, and solve world hunger. I think springtime should be a free pass for anyone who is old enough to remember “the 2010 Palmer fest couch incident”. So, with the semester change, let us have a fresh start- some new normals for the end of the year. Here are some guidelines for professors to follow if they want to get the most out of their little upper class pupils, lets call it “A New Guide to Spring in Athens.”
1. Any class scheduled before 10am will cease to exist after April 20th.
2. Friday is a weekend day. So is Thursday night.
3. No papers longer than 3 pages after the first 70-degree day of the spring.
4. Any day warmer than 70 degrees and with 60% sunshine shall be a day off of class.
5. Any day with rain, class canceled.
6. Readings must be easy to read outside, on the grass. Or by the Summit pool.
7. Lemonade is recommended.
8. Also snacks.
9. Lecture slides after the 3rd week of class will be posted online for those infected with “Spring Fever” who cannot make it to class
10. “Graduation A’s” for all Seniors
I think these are reasonable requests for my next spring in Athens (and my last!). Right? If you’re with me then…well lets not do anything. I’m too lazy for that.