If there’s anything worse than a Kardashian middle part, it’s the gym. Each trip begins and ends the same. When you first arrive you are eager, ready to commit yourself to a healthier lifestyle. Determined to exercise your butt off until you have a bod you can parade around during swimsuit season. But just as every trip begins the same, it ends the same: with you on the floor, sweating uncontrollably and cursing whoever invented the Stair Master.
That misery continues even after the gym, as you sit in the cafeteria eating a gross salad because any other food would negate all of the hard work you just put in. What’s even worse is that all of those calories you just burnt, running on a treadmill, are equivalent to about 5 ritz crackers. You know what good things are only 200 calories? I’ll tell you- nothing.
Yet we all continue to go back to the gym because we know that without exercise, we’d all start looking like Honey Boo Boos. So since we can all agree on how terribly painful and awkward the gym is, maybe we can all start working together to make it a more enjoyable place for all. And with that, here are my tips on being classy in the gym:
Wear deodorant– just because Kristen Stewart likes her men “all natural”, doesn’t mean we all do.
Ialready feel like throwing up after all of that exercising, so the fact that you smell like an Arby’s bathroom isn’t helping the situation.
Wipe down the equipment after you use it– There’s nothing more disgusting than going up to a machine and seeing a puddle of sweat on the seat. Clean it up- “Aint nobody got time for that”
Don’t be a machine hog– It’s a common rule that you shouldn’t be on the machine for more than 30 minutes, so not only are you being rude by exercising for over an hour, but you’re keeping me from getting back to my room to watch “The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion”
Don’t judge me as I work out– I already know how embarrassing it is that I can only bench press thirty five pounds, so I don’t need you giving me the stink eye. At least I’m trying to be active, so quit judging me you Jillian Michaels wannabe.
Don’t Spend Excessive Amounts of Time In the Locker Room Naked– Now I know that sometimes people don’t have the time to go home and shower but keep the whole naked thing to a minimum. I’m already traumatized from the Stair master, so seeing Jack Black’s long lost twin, strutting around naked like he’s in a 1970s porno, is just too much to handle.
Photo 1 Photo 2