I’m a firm believer that before you can wholeheartedly love someone else, you must love yourself first. In today’s world, this task becomes more difficult by the day. Society deems it selfish to actually focus on yourself for once, and I cringe at the standards women are held to. It’s okay to think you’re pretty, smart or funny. It’s okay to think that you’re worth loving, that you’re going places and that you’re someone who others should want to have in their lives.
I read a quote that said: “A healthy relationship is one where two independent people make a deal that they will help make the other person the best version of themselves.” Imagine how much more positive your life would be if you found someone who helped you embrace who you are. I often hear couples say that their partner “completes” them or “makes them whole.” But if I’m being honest, we should first complete ourselves, instead of having someone do the job for us. It’s up to you and you alone to make yourself into the person that you want to be. Love should be more about finding someone who accepts you for who you truly are – the messy hair, lack of makeup, all-you-want-is-pizza kind of girl. It’s about finding someone that you can share yourself with and someone who won’t make you question yourself or wonder why they’ve chosen you to love.
Being in a relationship has made me realize that I need to be confident in myself and own who I am. Call it selfish or feministic, I don’t care. If I didn’t have faith in who I was, I would constantly be questioning what others saw in me and why my boyfriend stays with me. Who wants to live a life of paranoia?
It’s a never-ending process. You won’t simply wake up one day and decide that you’re the greatest human being on this Earth and that no one will make you question yourself. It’s hard, especially in today’s world, with so many people telling us we should look like models, act like superstars and somehow have our life together every second of every day. You’re not going to want to get out of bed all the time, and some days you’ll eat that entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s (that you swore you’d let your roommate have) in one sitting. I’m not saying it’s easy to love who you are, but it’s not impossible either.
Be proud of who you are and how far you’ve come. It doesn’t matter how cliché it sounds; if you wake up each morning and tell yourself you’re worth something, you’re already off to a great start. We change every day. We may look better on Tuesday than we will on Wednesday. And that’s okay. There’s no cure, no magic potion, and no sugar, spice and everything nice formula. You must train your mind to see the good in yourself, and let that shine through you each day. It may not be easy, but it will most definitely be worth it. Respect yourself, treat yourself and most importantly, love yourself.