Depression, in general, is not a fun or easy thing for someone to have to deal with. When you are in college, it could feel as if no one is there for you and you are all alone. You live far away from your family, so most of the time they can not physically be there when you need them the most. Yes, friends are great to have and talk to about this kind of stuff, but if they have never suffered from depression, they do not know how you feel and what it is like to have it. I, myself, have depression and have been diagnosed with it for 2 years now, although I know I have had it for longer than that. Here are some of the things I have learned and suffered through while having depression in college.
First off, I am not one to publicly announce that I have this, so this is a first for me. However, I feel like it helps you to openly talk about what you have been through. I am able to hide my depression when I am around my friends and family because I do not want them to treat or think of me any differently. I will usually fake a smile and pretend everything is okay when I am having the worst day of my life. On occasion, I will stay in bed all day, talk to nobody and sleep all day. Even though I try my hardest to fight this, depression usually has the upper hand and wins.
It interrupts your daily lifestyle. Getting up every day Monday through Friday for those 8ams are overwhelming in the first place and no one likes to do it. With depression, it makes it ten times harder. You have thoughts in your head telling yourself you don’t need to go to class; you don’t matter; you are just going to fail anyway because you’re dumb. And this is very true for me: I wake up in the morning wondering if classes are even worth going to because some days I feel like I am not worth it. Friends going out to a party or just want to hang out? Nope, your depression won’t let you. It wants you to stay miserable and not have a life outside of it. And this is hard to fight.
I could write a whole book about depression and my experiences. It is not easy and it is a never-ending battle. Some things I have learned from it are the following. Some days will be better than others, and on those good days, embrace it and be the best you there is. It is not something you should hide. Be open about it to the ones you trust. They may not able to relate on a personal level but at least you have someone you know will always have your back. And remember, you are worth it; you can get through whatever life throws at you. The rough times will make you stronger.