You hear it everywhere: “Is this a plus and minus class?” “Do you grade on a curve?” “How can I keep my A?” “My B?” “How do I pass?” “My self-worth is actually based on the grade that I receive in this class, so if it could be high, that would be ideal.” Grades meant everything in high school and that doesn’t really change in college. What does change, however, is the other expectations of the people who have just recently been shoved, naked and covered in pig’s blood, to the lions of adulthood.
If you want a job after college, sure you have to graduate. Preferably with a little smiley face on your report card. But you also have to join clubs to engage in the disgusting, bourgeoisie-sounding act of “networking.” Do you have leadership positions in every single one of your clubs? And how are you paying to feed and clothe yourself, not to mention the ridiculous tuition rates? Jobs are necessary if you don’t want to drown in loans, and it would be best if that job was something in your chosen field. The job market and the economy are trash, so you have to be the best of the best to even be considered for a job getting coffee for your superiors. Don’t forget- this is also the age that you need to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, or at least a good twenty years, eighteen of them unhappy, until you ultimately decide to get a divorce in your forties. If you want to have the normal college experience, binge-drinking disguised as fun is also necessary. By the way, did you know that stress and sleep-deprivation will make you die an early death? As long as you die before you have to start paying back student loans, am I right?
It’s not a secret that a lot is expected of young people. Navigating life when you’re fresh into adulthood is usually crazy and difficult. But learning to deal with all of these aspects of life, learning how to read a calendar so that you can plan out your naps and not cry in front of other people, is necessary for life. It’s pretty much a circus trick to balance everything and breathe at the same time, but it’s a circus trick that we all learn to perform by taking time for ourselves on occasion. It’s okay to slow down every once in a while, and ask yourself what you need in order to keep yourself from sobbing in the shower where your roommate can’t hear your tears.
Sometimes you just have to pace yourself. It’s true for taking down a giant ice cream sundae and it’s true for college too. Pace yourself and realize that not everything will end up as projected in your ten-year plan, and that’s okay. The only form that true perfection exists in is dogs, and unfortunately, you are not a dog. You can’t expect yourself to be as flawless as they are, especially while learning to do the adulting for yourself. You’ll be fine if you just stop to take a breath and pet a dog. Being that close to perfection is half the battle.