This article is part of our “Cupid at Kenyon” series, in which our writers talk about Valentine’s Day.
As soon as you started reading the title of this article, I am sure that, for most of you, a negative thought came to mind. You are thinking “this is a disaster waiting to happen” or “they will most likely end up divorced.” I will admit that I, too, was anti-young marriage before my fiancé brought up the topic. However, I later felt otherwise. My decision to get engaged certainly was a long and thought out one. It was one that involved couples counseling prior and that took months of consideration. I still remember my counselor’s words to my fiancé, “In 99% of cases I would not advise a young couple to do this. However, in your case, after talking to both of you, I can say that this relationship is different. You two stand just as good a chance as any other adult couple.”
Despite being told this, the process of getting engaged was still one that was nerve-wracking. Emotionally, our relationship was ready for the next step, but we both knew that getting engaged would be a different process for us than it is for most couples. We accepted the reality that the majority of the people that we told were not going to be happy about it, especially our families. Imagine making one of the happiest decisions of your life and knowing that your family was not going to support you. Imagine knowing that you had done everything right: you are both working towards your intended careers, one of you will hopefully be attending graduate school upon graduation, you have been together for a long time, you’ve gone to couples counseling before to be responsible, and you’ve taken months to reach this decision, but because you were not the ideal age in everyone else’s eyes they would not support you. And, they don’t want to hear any case that you are making because they do not want to be open to the idea.
I spent many a night facing the possibility of knowing that other’s opinions of me might change. It was difficult, but it was something that I knew in my heart was the right decision. I had prayed often, and after a while, I finally knew that this was the right step for me. When the day came, it was everything I dreamed it would be. He used my full name, we both cried when he asked, and I said yes. It was in that moment that I no longer cared what anyone else thought. No matter what anyone’s opinion might be, they could not stop a decision that we had both made. We’re engaged and no matter what anyone’s opinions are, there is nothing that they could do to stop us. We were both adults who chose to make this decision.
Upon telling my close friends, I got nothing but support. They even agreed that this was the right decision for me and my fiancé. It was nice that people were actually rooting for us. Of course, like predicted, there have been a few people along the way who have not supported our engagement. We have both accepted that, but it does not change the fact that we are engaged.
Being engaged young has been a fairytale despite not having everyone overly excited for us or getting the “welcome to the family” talk. Our friends, however, have filled that gap. I have gotten engagement presents from them, been taken out to lunches to celebrate, etc. After a few months being of engaged, there have been a few things that I have realized. People, adults especially, are going to have their opinion about us based on our age. They are entitled to that opinion and I respect their opinion. However, with all due respect, their opinion is based on their own preconceived notion of when an engagement should take place. There is nothing I can do to change their minds, and I have accepted that.
Even after not always receiving a “congratulations” by those closest to us, it still was and is, the best decision we ever made. We get to create our entire adult life together, and we get to know firsthand that dreams really do come true. My fiancé and I get the pleasure of literally being able to watch one another grow up. Every step of the way, we have each other. There is nothing more beautiful than building a life together and watching your best friend become the person they are today. I am the luckiest girl in the world to be engaged to the man of my dreams. If my fiancé, happens to be reading this right now, just know that I know this is not going to be easy. Marriage is hard, but I promise to never give up on you or this life we are creating. I cannot wait to be your wife. Thank you for choosing me.
From: Your Future Mrs.