In my humble opinion, Jimmy Fallon is the king of late night. I can always count on him to brighten my day with a witty joke about the presidential campaign, silly sketches with A-list celebrities, and his musical digital shorts. However, the one aspect of his show I look forward to the most is his weekly tradition of thank you notes.
For those of you who are unfamiliar, after his monologue, he will go over to his desk and claim that he is running behind on errands and forgot to write his weekly thank you notes.
Usually, he will thank inanimate objects or something relative to current events, such as Donald Trump’s toupée hair.
As the school year comes to a close, I’ve realized there are a lot of people and things to thank that have helped me get to where I am today.
So in that case…………………………..
James, can I get some thank you note writing music, please?
Thank you, Roommates,
For being college’s way of saying, “there’s no way you can survive living on your own yet, so let’s mix you with other people who don’t know what they’re doing so you can reach your demises together”.
Thank you, High School,
For filling me with four years of weird insecurities and social anxieties just to let me discover 3 months after graduation that no one cares about your varsity letters, or that you were prom queen, or you make jokes when you’re comfortable (holla to all the Chandler Bings out there), only that we’re all very stereotypical college students with a whole lot of growing up to do.
Thank you, Hofstra USA,
For being a non judgmental environment when I need to stuff my face with brownie sundaes after a long day, and giving me the freshman 15 as a free gift.
Thank you, care packages from home,For being the epitome of a double message. “We miss you dearly, but don’t think you’re capable of doing your own tasks. Here’s some fabric softener. Love, Mom”Thank you, laundry rooms,For teaching me how to take care of my clothes, how impatient I am, and how the battle for a machine might as well be The Hunger Games.Thank you, course registration, For being the one time of the year all college students actually care about classes, and for being the real life hunger games
Thank you, bookstore,
For being filled all kinds of things we need in a close, convenient setting, for the super convenient price of everything in my wallet.
Thank you, college bars,
For neither seeming much like college, or a bar. I never thought i’d be able to relive my glorified middle school dances, but because of you, the cotton eye joe is so much more entertaining.
Thank you, wine nights,
For letting me feel a little bit classy when in actuality I paid $8 for a cardboard box.
Thank you, Greek life,
For teaching about your fine philosophies and noteworthy connections and not your yogurts, cheeses, and gyros. Though, if you offered those things during rushing season, I think you’d have an even bigger turnout.
Thank you, quiet study floors in the library,
For not being called what actually happens on those floors “quietly crying about the struggles of my life”.
Thank you, Netflix,
For being there for me when I most need it. It just so happens to be every time I need to get something useful done.
Thank you, social media,
For helping me keep up with my old friends, while at the same time making me have existential crises after realizing I haven’t done anything with my life.
Thank you, professors who don’t cancel class even in the worst weather conditions,
For teaching me that it’s more important to learn to trek in blizzard conditions than save my body parts to frostbite.
Thank you, RAs on duty,
For being the polite version of a home invader. Although, I think I’d rather have you tell me you want to take all my textbooks than scold me on running around exercising on my floor.
Thank you, people who blast their stereo systems at 11:45 on a Monday Night,
For letting the whole building know “YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAHHHH THIS IS MY JAM” and also that you don’t care much about what we’re doing with our night.
Thank you, non-optional group projects,
For helping me open my eyes to many things about the lesson that I didn’t see before… my best example being how much I hate group work.
Thank you, communal bathrooms,
For helping me become closer with those who live in mt building. There’s nothing like being close with someone by starting a conversation with, “Hey! I know you! You’re the one who accidentally walked in on my shower because it’s difficult to tell when someone’s using it! ‘Sup girl?”
Thank you, Redbull,
For helping me a morning person….a 2:30 in the morning and paper is due at 10, person.
Thank you, Target Runs,
For always being there with all the things I need… like detergent… plates… Disney magnets…. A fake plant to give the room a natural feeling…Holiday themed cookies…and oooh! This cute decorative throw pillow for the futon I don’t have!!!
Thank you, Freshman 15,
For helping me make sure I never forget my college experience. It’s nice to know that in 10 years when I wonder why my knees look like balloons, I’ll know it’s because I treated myself to sampler platters every time I turned something in more than 10 minutes before the turn in time.