After you let someone go, I mean really let someone go, what happens next? That guy you thought about every night before you went to bed, the guy whose texts you obsessed over with your friends, the guy who made you the happiest girl in the world at some points, but unbelievably disappointed and lonely at others. It’s crazy how many emotions run through us while we are in love or like or whatever we think we are feeling. For some girls, finding love is easy and simple while, for others, finding that happy ending seems so distant and unimaginable to ever be real. After you move on from someone, whether it be by choice or necessity, it might feel as though do overs do not exist and that, when it comes to the game of love, all is lost. You may be thinking that a guy who will fight for you, a guy who will love you and want to show you off just isn’t in the cards.
Sorting through a mess of guys, trying desperately to find a replacement for the one who got away is not the solution. It might help ease the pain and provide a necessary distraction, but it won’t fill any void that has managed to carve its way into an already broken heart. Being in love means being vulnerable and opening yourself up to all of the pain and the heartbreak. Maybe letting go is the right thing to do, especially if you are unhappy. After all, the expression, “if you love someone, set them free…if they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were” could not be any truer. If you are struggling with what to do with that guy who is not giving you everything that you want, need, or deserve, making the decision to cut it off might be the best move to make. At the end of the day, college relationships are a messy game. The ones who come up on top are usually the ones who play it right. So don’t settle. Walk away. Go on lots of dates with other guys. Make him see everything that he lost. Let him come running back, because when he does, the ball is now in your court and you can make up your own rules.
Unfortunately, figuring out those rules can be especially tricky when Mr. Too Little Too Late comes running back, begging for a second chance. So how do we approach the situation when an ex makes an unanticipated return? Here are some possible options for what to do when an ex fling/boyfriend/hook up suddenly realizes that he may have just lost you for good.
Give Him a Shot: I know, I know. Most likely you’ve given this guy a zillion chances and he just hasn’t delivered. But if you still have feelings for him, it might be wise to hear him out. Who knows…maybe seeing you out with someone else finally gave him the wake up call that you’ve been waiting for. If he is really serious this time around, he should show you. Take your time, play it by ear, and pay close attention to his actions because, at the end of the day, actions always speak louder than any words.
Stick it to Him: Maybe this is harsh…but if a guy has been leading you on and messing with your heart for way too long, showing him just how badly he screwed up might be the perfect confidence booster. This is probably a good option if you are completely fed up with his cheesy lines and lies. You’re over it! No guy has the right to treat you unfairly. Embrace the moment, channel your inner Beyoncé, and make him feel like he just lost the best thing he ever had.
Walk Away: Maybe the end of your relationship wasn’t a bitter victory or a sad defeat. Maybe, when it was finally over, you just felt empty and lonely. Instead of trying to seek out some big revenge or make out with the next guy you see when he is watching, walking away for yourself might be the best thing. Reflect on yourself and your situation and determine whether or not this relationship is bringing you down physically, mentally, or emotionally. If it is, cut it off and find a guy who is going to treat you right.
Whatever you choose to do, remember that, at the end of the day, things ended between the two of you for a reason. It is so important to recognize what went wrong with a relationship in order to move forward, especially if he comes back into the picture. Maybe he’s changed, but maybe he hasn’t. Make sure that he’s not just weaseling back in because of the chase or the gratification or winning you back. Take it day by day and see if it is worth another go. Only then will you know for sure, with no regrets, if he is the right person for you to be with.