1. “He obviously hasn’t gotten it yet.”
2. “Maybe he’s in class so he can’t answer.”
3. “Did he have a test today? He probably turned his phone off for it.”
4. “What if his professor took his phone away when he was trying to answer.”
5. “Or my phone didn’t actually send the text and it’s lost in cyberspace.”
6. “But it says sent?!”
7. “His phone probably died. Yep that’s it. And who knows when he’ll get to a charger.”
8. “He’s definitely napping. I’m sure he had a long day and he must be soooo tired.“
9. “What if his phone fell into the toilet?”
10. “Or someone stepped on his phone and totally cracked the screen. OMG how could they.”
11. “Or he’s probably at the gym with the guys and put his phone in the locker.”
12. “Maybe I need to start going to the gym.”
13. “Ok he definitely went for a run and didn’t bring it.”
14. “What if he gets kidnapped on his run!? How am I supposed to know he got kidnapped!!”
15. “What is he dead?”
16. *Staring at phone* “COME ON!!”
17. “I’m being punked. I bet he’s surprising me.”
18. “Is this a joke???”
19. “Maybe if I turn my phone on silent and don’t think about it he’ll text back.”
20. “Whatever. If he texts me back now I won’t even answer. Ha! Take that!”
21. “…okay I’m totally kidding. If he answers me I’ll obviously answer back.”
22. “He’s definitely dead…”
23. “…or missing”
24. “I should just text his roommate to make sure he’s okay.”
25. “What if his roommate just broke up with his girlfriend and he’s consoling him?”
26. “That must be it. He can’t be texting me then because that would just be insensitive.”
27. “Did he have work today? I know he can’t really have his phone out at work…so unprofessional.”
28. “Maybe I should see if he’s on Facebook.”
29. “Okay he just Instagrammed…is he kidding me?”
30. “Should I double text him? Is that too much?”
31. “Okay I can’t double texting him…that’s too crazy.”
32. “His phone is malfunctioning and he’s not receiving my texts.”
33. “Whyyyy me?!”
34. “He’s probably drunk.”
35. “He’s most definitely drunk and passed out.”
36. “Okay relax, it’s a Monday and he’s not drunk he just misplaced his phone.”
37. “Maybe he was texting and driving and Public Safety pulled him over.”
38. “I wonder if the guy on the bike was the one who pulled him over.”
39. “Wait, he doesn’t even have a car!!!”
40. “My text was really witty. He probably just can’t figure out a good response back.”
41. “Honestly I think he dropped it in the toilet and it’s sitting in a bag of rice right now. It literally happens all the time.”
42. “He went to the cafeteria and left his phone in his room. I’m sure he’ll be done eating soon.”
43. “On second thought maybe I should just go to the cafeteria now too. Him and his friends could be there for hours.”
44. “But what if he is there? Then I’d just look ridiculous. Ughh so embarrassing!”
45. “What if he left his phone on the table in the cafeteria and someone stole it? What a jerk! Give him the phone back!”
46. “Maybe he is on the phone with his mom and just couldn’t answer.”
47. “He’s probably telling her all about me too. Aww he’s so sweet!”
48. “Maybe he got attacked by the turkeys on campus and he dropped his phone when he was trying to escape.”
49. “Damn turkeys.”
50. “Was my last text too forward? Maybe he’s intimidated by me now?”
51. “I didn’t think it was that forward. He probably forgot about my text. But how can you forget you saw it??”
52. “Well, I’m not going to sit on my phone and wait for him to text me back. I have better things to do…” *looks around the room for something to occupy time with*
53. “Ugh mom stop texting me!”
54. “Maybe he’s playing hard to get.”
55. “OMG what if I need to start playing hard to get?!”
56. “Fine I’ll start now…forget him.”
57. “I should Snapchat him instead. That’s not the same thing as double texting, right?”
58. “I should look at his top friends on there too.”
59. “Damn you Snapchat!! Why did you take away the best friends?”
60. “Ok I’ll just take a nap! Maybe when I wake up I’ll have a text from him.”
61. “Ugh mom! Just stop already!”
62. “That’s it! He lost his chance. I’m so done.”
63. “OMG DID MY PHONE JUST VIBRATE?!”
Follow Amanda on Twitter.