Today, chatting to the boy you fancy via text message has become a mandatory pastime. Via text, you can create the impression you are cool, calm and collected when engaging with the opposite sex, rather than revealing the gibbering wreck your crush transforms you into when face-to-face. Yes, your banter via text is certainly much greater than in person and as a result of your texting flirtation, you regularly bag yourself a cheeky snog in TP. However, as Cheska from Made in Chelsea pointed out last week there are certainly some unspoken rules and etiquette attached to texting. Unfortunately for Cheska, she was not aware of what these rules were, resulting in a very awkward conversation with her new crush Sam. If she didn’t already know it, Sam made it perfectly obvious that they could definitely meet up as “friends” repeating the phrase “let’s go for coffee as mates” about a hundred times. Cheska had to learn the hard way, but you lucky ladies can avoid this social suicide by simply abiding to a few important rules.
1. Avoid Drunken Revelations
These often seem like a fantastic idea at the time, but the results are often more disastrous than non-fresher nights out at Rococcos. Waking up hungover to the embarrassment of several drunken messages that you sent to the boy you fancy is never fun. Whilst the spelling and grammar of these texts are often questionable, supplying the recipient with a few laughs, the awkward explanation is not as amusing. Drunken texts do little for the progression of your love life so try to avoid at all costs!
2. Avoid Excessive Use of X’s
The balance of kisses in a text is always a contentious issue. Girls spend hour agonising over how many kisses will be appropriate to send to their latest crush. Too little and you seem like you are not interested and too many and you look like you are obsessed. To be perfectly honest, most boys do not pay attention to whether you use one or two kisses at the end of the text. However, they will notice if you end every text with “xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx”. This really is excessive and totally unnecessary. Try to follow what the guy does in terms of x’s, adjusting the number up or down as a result of how well the conversation seems to be going.
3. Avoid Texting 24/7
Try not to only talk to the boy you fancy via text message. Whilst texting is great for a quick catch up, it is very boring if you only communicate with one another in this way. Texting 24/7 can become very uninteresting, leaving you with nothing to say to each other. The occasional text is fine, but try to get the balance between texting and speaking to face-to-face so as to avoid the relationship going stale before it has even started!
4. Don’t use “I love you” for the first time via text
Telling someone that you love them is an important step in a relationship and is one of those moments that should be done in person. Save all the romantic stuff for when you are with one another, rather than letting you i-Phone or Blackberry do it for you. This way, when you first say “I love you” to one another, the moment will be special.
5. Don’t Write an Essay
Text messages were designed to be quick and snappy so use them that way. Long, drawn out, six page essays get boring very quickly. If you continually text in this way, the boy may be put off and avoid replying. This is not because he doesn’t like you, but probably because he doesn’t want to have to receive another six page text. Keep your messages short and sweet and let the flirtatious banter A.K.A flanter flow.
6. Don’t argue over Text
Although it might seem easier to say exactly what you are thinking over text, try to avoid arguing with your boyfriend this way. In text messages, it is difficult to get the tone right and often what you say can be misinterpreted which could lead to even more arguments!
7. Don’t be one person over Text and one person face-to-face
This is the classic tale of “I’m all chatty and flirtatious via text, but face-to-face I’ll blank you.” Us girls would not appreciate it if a boy did this to us, so don’t do this to a boy. If you are flirting with a guy via text, then don’t be afraid to continue the flirtation in person. After all if anything is going to come from the relationship, then you most certainly have to engage with one another without the help of phones!
8. If you get no reply, don’t keep texting
If the boy does not reply to you, whatever you do, DO NOT re-send the text you sent before, send a new text or ask him why he did not reply. This will not help matters. If the boy does not reply for a couple of hours, try not to be disheartened, it does not necessarily mean that they are not into you. If the lack of reply does mean the end of your texting romance though, then the boy certainly doesn’t deserve one of your 500 text messages so don’t let it get you down and move on!
If all of these fail, use this handy chart to check whether your texting habits abide by the “rules”.