It’s a Friday night and I’m out in a club, dancing with my friends. The music is loud. So loud that I can’t hear anything and I don’t sense him come up behind me. I never even see his face, but I feel it when his hand slides under my skirt, groping me from behind. Shock, then anger. I turn to tell him to stop, swear, hit out, anything… but he’s already gone. Now there’s only a feeling of violation, a fear that it will happen again. That they’ll feign shock, call it ‘banter’, as if I should be appreciative of such unwanted attention. This isn’t ‘banter’. It’s sexual assault.
The issue of sexual assault on British campuses was thrown in to the limelight in 2010 when NUS published “Hidden Marks: A Study of Women Students’ Experiences of Harassment, Stalking, Violence and Sexual Assault”. One in seven participants had experienced some form of serious physical or sexual assault since being at university. Since then, numbers have skyrocketed, and female students are more in danger than ever with regards to unwanted sexual attention in clubs. I have yet to meet another female student who hasn’t witnessed, experienced or heard about such occurrences.
So, when is it ok to grab a woman, without her agreement, just to prove a point to your friends? Never. Even when multiple vodka shots have made you ‘slightly the worse for wear’. Whether the woman in question is wearing a skin tight dress or a full on boiler suit, nothing gives men the right to touch a woman without consent. The saddest part is that often men will not stop trying to paw women or elicit a response, even if they are rejected. A fellow HCX journalist tells me how she, “has been forced to tell men that she has a boyfriend”, in order to stop men grinding on, or groping her in nightclubs. Apparently, ‘no’ doesn’t mean ‘no’ until another man is involved. Our own consent isn’t enough on its own.
If this type of conduct continues, how are we supposed to present ourselves as a community where everyone is equal? It is clear that our culture still views women’s bodies as public property. The election of Donald Trump as US president only highlights the severity of the matter. We live in a society where the future American president advocates, “grabbing women by the pussy”, and suggests that what you want to say, as a female, “doesn’t really matter… as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of a**.” How will young boys learn to treat women with respect and dignity if this is the kind of misogynistic role model they look up to?
Having said this, not all men act this way. Many are considerate, and have more respect for girls than to grope them without consent. Yet the culture of ‘under-handing’ in clubs puts pressure on these men, as well as women. Club culture has placed males as the predators and females as the prey, a worrying stereotype that both sexes struggle to throw off. Surely men feel pressured into fitting this typecast, leading them to behave towards women in nightclubs in a way that they wouldn’t in everyday life.
Another lovely HCX writer was telling me how her male friends “insist on walking her home late at night” however her male friends themselves are never worried about walking alone at night, because as men they don’t feel at risk. Why should it only be women who need protection when walking alone at night? The club culture of unwanted groping only promotes the idea of women as vulnerable targets for more serious kinds of assault, including rape. Can you imagine telling your little sister, or cousin, that if they go to university, this is the kind of problem they will face?
So what can be done about the epidemic of minor sexual assault in British universities? Students, no matter their gender, should feel safe on nights out and around campus. To achieve this ideal a zero tolerance policy of sexual assault in clubs should be adopted. Both women and men should feel that they can talk to people about these kinds of issues and tell someone who takes their claim seriously. And maybe, if we want to get rid of this problem indefinitely, our society should just teach everyone, no matter who they are: sexual assault, in any form, is a crime.
So here at Her Campus we want to tell you: if you ever experience or witness this type of assault, find a friendly member of staff and call it out. Name and shame those who think this is correct and always remember – keep your hands to yourself!