Many college students long to be in a relationship. Everyone loves companionship and everyone wants to be wanted, even if we may not all admit it. According to Merriam Webster, the definition of dating is, “the series of social engagements shared by a couple looking to get married.” But in college, what exactly does it mean to be dating someone? Is it meeting a guy for coffee? Or, a a movie date or two? Does it mean hooking up a few times? Or could it be a virtual relationship with lots of online flirting? These are the types of questions that most college students wrestle with.
When you arrive at college, you may be excited about seeing all the different types of boys on campus; the jock, the hipster, the techy guy. You might even want to test them all out, being unaware of what your college type actually is. You may see a cute guy in class, and next thing you know, you find yourself daydreaming about your imaginary relationship; planning out your dates and imagining your first kiss! In a perfect world, he finally comes up to you, asks for your phone number, and then asks you to coffee. You go out on a few dates and he seems to like you. Now what does that mean? Are you actually dating?
But what about hooking up? If you have hooked up with your crush a few times, does that mean you are dating? These are tricky questions to answer because today hooking up doesn’t necessarily lead to dating or a relationship. In fact, hooking up can mean absolutely nothing at all. Or does it?
“If you hook up with someone in high school a few times, it is the norm that you say to your friends, ‘yeah we’re just hooking up,’” says Rachel, an Emerson freshman. “But, if you hook up with someone a few times in college, I think there’s a larger chance of it turning into dating or a relationship. In college, you can be with your boyfriend all of the time, unlike in high school, where you had to go home after school and spend time with your family.”
College dating is definitely more intense than dating in high school. A few months of dating in college could be equivalent to a year of dating in high school. This is because college students are more mature than high school students. Also, there is more time and freedom to get to know your college significant other. Because of this you are able to spend more one-on-one time and get to know each other in a deeper way.
So how do you go about finding a boyfriend or a girlfriend and get involved in a relationship? Apparently dating today starts with a friendship.
“Dating in college definitely starts off with being friends first,” says Samantha, a freshman. “Especially here at Emerson, people I have talked to who are in relationships say they were almost always originally friends before they started dating.”
Also, there are many couples in college who are in long distance relationships. According to CampusExplorer.com, 32.5% of College Relationships are Long-Distance. That’s almost 1/3! Some people just can’t let go of their high school sweetheart.
“It’s hard being in a long-distance relationship when your partner is so far away,” says Allie, a Boston University sophomore. “My boyfriend and I are both from New York City, and we started dating junior year of high school. Now, I go to school in Boston, and he goes to UCLA. It’s hard being across the country, but it would be harder to let him go.”
But back to my original questions, what does it mean to actually be dating in college? After compiling all of my social research, it appears that dating means being in a serious relationship with someone you care about. This includes spending a lot of time with your significant other and being willing giving that person the title of boyfriend and girlfriend.