It’s the Last Day of Classes, so you better make it last. Once April 25th is over, hell week begins and you won’t be seeing the light of day much less another human being, especially a male human being…unless you’re both in the stacks…late at night with no one else around…#graduationrequirement.
But that’s the ideal situation and we all know that the stacks will be full next week so, like I said, it’s crunch time. You have 24 hours to find love in the hopeless place that is LDOC, the one day a year when Duke students get to day-drink shamelessly on the quad, when teachers expect their classes of 150 to dwindle to near 0 attendance, and when Duke shows the rest of the world how to throw a “last hurrah” Blue Devil style.
Don’t worry; I checked the weather on the 10-day forecast for Durham and April 25th is going to be a sunny day (which means partly cloudy in Durham) with a high of 74 degrees and a low of 54 degrees. So once you’re trashed and you begin to see yellow diamonds in the light?and you and your crush/a random hot dude/Jonas Erik Altberg (aka Basshunter) are standing side by side.... JUMP HIM. Ah, what it takes to come alive. But seriously, this is your last chance to find love, so do whatever it takes. They aren’t calling it LDOCalypse for nothing. What if the Mayans were wrong and the world is going to end on April 26th? Will you have checked off everything on your bucket list? Consider LDOC the day to do just that. As long as your bucket list has something on there about meeting the man of your dreams at LDOC.
For those of you who’ve enjoyed the benefits of the hook-up culture at Duke, make LDOC your shining moment - the peak of your hook-up history. Why stop now when you’re on such a roll? Don’t you want to have the epic image of rolling around naked on top of a Duke Police car with that hottie from your neuroscience class to get you through finals? How else are you going to boost your confidence when you realize you’re not going to actually pass your neuroscience final?
For those of you in relationships, use this day to be like, sorry I’m not sorry I’m just drunk. Think of it as a free for all. If you’re in love, then feel free to exhibit PDA all over the place. If anyone says anything you can just blame it on LDOC. If you’re at the breaking point, use this day to take out your aggression on each other. The morning after, you can just chalk it up to LDOC and aggressive drinking and move on as if nothing ever happened. If you’ve got a secret crush that you’ve been dying to get at all year, LDOC is the perfect time to do it. You’ve got liquid courage, a shameless environment, and the prospect of partying all day so that even if your crush rejects you, you can turn around and find the next best thing or rage away your sorrows.
Being a veteran LDOC-er myself, and because the day is just too hard to explain to those who have not experienced it, I’ll share a couple of my own experiences. One year I shot-gunned a beer in the shower, rolled up to class to take a test (which I got an A on, btw), and then proceeded to the quad where I, the Dating Duchess, took the chance of a life time and forced my cushy beautiful pink lips onto the crush of my dreams. It was epic. It was wet. It was slobbery and beautiful. #aggressive #worthit #go-getter
Go get him girl. Remember, he can’t fall for you if you’re not there to catch him! (Maybe that quote was the other way around, but it can go both ways). What’s the worst thing that could happen if you put yourself out there? You date for a while and then break up? Like, sob story, been there climbed that. At least you’ll remember LDOC as the day you put on your big girl pants and scooped up that douchebag you’ll never talk to again.
Last year I was in a committed relationship on LDOC. We got drunk, had sex, and fell asleep. #stillfun I mean for those of you who are committed, you know that holidays are like gifts from heaven, so think of LDOC as a holiday. Your girlfriend can wear her LDOCalypse lingerie…. hot.
What will the Dating Duchess be doing on LDOC this year? Well, I’ll give you a hint. I’ll be the girl wearing the “Legally 21” red tiara and telling you how much I love you. Yes, my 21st birthday is on LDOC. Now that you’ve realized you cannot possibly have a better LDOC than me, feel free to give up trying and let it all go. Come the morning of April 26th, I hope you’ll all be rolling over in bed to find someone, anyone, so that you can say, we found love in a hopeless place.