It seems like it’s been forever since the ‘single’ status was given a good rep, especially for women. We’ve seen it in the media—singles girls don’t want to be single. Supposedly, we go around telling everyone we encounter that we’re a happy, single girl and that Beyoncé’s Single Ladies track is the theme song of our chosen independent lifestyle, when actually we sit at home, eating ice cream, Kleenex in hand, pondering the inaction and failure of our love lives.
False, false, false!
For some of us, when we say we’re happy, we mean it. For some of us, being single is a choice not a drawback or an unwanted, unchangeable circumstance. In fact, according to Statistics Canada, 6.7 million Canadian women are single, compared to the 7.6 million single men. That’s a whole lot of single people.
I’m single. I have been for years, with the exception of a few flimsy flings (nothing worth going into detail about, trust me), and I’m satisfied. Do I want to meet someone someday and experience the perks of being in a serious, intimate relationship? Yes. Of course the answer is yes. But, for the time being, I am happily single and unready to mingle. I tend to believe that our 20s are the best time to be single. We’re still figuring ourselves out, engaging in new experiences and trying to make sense of our complex, scary world. There’s little time left over to be dealing with stressful, unnecessary relationship issues.
Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not opposed to the whole relationship shindig. If you’re happily in a relationship, congrats to you. All the more to you, seriously. But for those girls who are single and beating themselves up about it—don’t. Let me explain why before you start to sob, and give up on yourself, allocating all your time to Netflix and fantasizing about a fake world with a fake, steamy boyfriend.
First off, come to terms with your singleness—if you just got out of a relationship and are newly single, you are entitled to feeling a bit sad and lonely, whether it was your decision to end things or not. However, after that three month mark, face it: you’re single. If it’s something you don’t want to be, then go out there and try to change it. Just remember that you don’t need a partner to recognize your own worth.
Embrace it—live out the single life, live out all the perks. Get out of the house and meet people, go to parties and visit places you’ve never been before. You can even enjoy the liberty of no-strings-attached casual sex (whip out that protection though).
You’ve got friends, go see them. Maybe you’ll find that you’ve been missing out on some good, old-fashion friend time. It’s surprising how comforting and how needed these hangouts can be when we let ourselves forget. The best part is that, if you’re feeling down about the single life, you can rely on your friends to hear you out.
Alone time is needed—learn new things about yourself. Explore your interests, your goals, all of it. You don’t have the excuse of someone tying you down. Stop being lazy and figure out who you are. No existential crises needed over here.