I have always heard that you meet “your people” in college.
Growing up, the idea of attending a university was always a brightly-colored image filled with dreams of finding and becoming best friends with “my people.” In my mind, I would encounter hundreds of like-minded people, who not only held similar ideals as me, but also those who were all walking the same journey of self-actualization alongside me. And, while that is a huge perk of going to college, I feel like the concept is a little too broad when defining and trying to pinpoint exactly what a healthy friendship entails.
After attending college for a year, I can say that the statements above are true; I have met and clicked with lots of people who hold the same values and enjoy the same activities as me. But, as I continue through school, I have started to figure out that just because I share the same surface passions with people, my friendship should not be based on solely superficial issues. I have started to realize that friendships, while not hard to find, should provide you with support and love, and not just mere small talk.
As you pick and choose your company in college, my best advice to you is to pick friends that lift you up and show you nothing but love. It sounds short-sighted, but growing up I was always told that your friends will always reflect a piece of yourself. If someone associates with someone petty and selfish, while they may not be petty and selfish themselves, they are dedicating their time and energy to dealing with things that are petty and selfish. If someone associates with empowering and kind souls instead, they likewise will be using their time and energy towards positive things, and will make healthier connections.
College is a large sea of fish, and while that is refreshing and new, it is important to remember to only drift towards connections that are healthy and fulfilling. Your time during the day is precious, and if you waste time on friendships that are less than generous, you may find yourself swimming alone.
Healthy friendships should be full of nothing but love, support, trust, and of course fun! If you find yourself stuck in a friendship that lacks the above, be strong enough to walk away. Go to a school event, join a club, or bond with your roommates instead. College may be about networking and meeting amazing people, but it does not have mean sacrificing your trust or happiness in the process. Colleges are huge, and there are lots of amazing people with stories and ideals to share, and I feel like that concept is overlooked as we go about our busy, daily lives.
As school starts up again, make this year your greatest and do things that fulfill you! Use the vastness of college to your advantage, and be the best friend you can be to others while you do it!
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