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Sex is a tiny word with large implications. It is only three letters, yet it holds such power. As Allison Reynolds from The Breakfast Club rationally explained, “If you say you haven’t [had sex], you’re a prude. If you say you have, you’re a slut. It’s a trap.” And for many girls, it is just that: a trap. It is an internal conflict – a battle between the mind and the heart. And when the heart does win, it often suffers great casualties. Sex is bound to bring complications. Yeah, you might think that a casual one-night stand is nothing. But then you see him. Does he remember me? Do I say hi? What is his name? These unanswered questions consume you, hungrily eating away at your sanity. And as you pass him on the quad while walking to class, you can’t help but realize that your situation is indeed complicated. Two nights ago you could not unlock eyes–I mean he was in you, wasn’t he–and now you’re ironically eye-f*cking your phone to avoid an awkward encounter. But we’re not here to talk to you about why sex is complicated in college, because in simplest terms and convenient definitions (And there’s The Breakfast Club again), it always will be.
Instead, let’s hit replay on Vanessa Carlton’s one-hit-wonder “White Houses” because we all know too well–whether first hand experience or from a Judy Blume novel–about that “rush of blood…and a little bit of pain” (not necessarily on a cloudy day). But we have a bone to pick with our girl Carlton because is it really as common as you think?
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the average age Americans lose their virginities (defined as vaginal sexual intercourse) is 17.1 for both men and women. 17 years young: you just waved goodbye to that training bra, saw your first R rated movie, and in most states, are license-less. But you’ve seen enough Rom-Coms to know that Claire Standish won’t spread her legs for John Bender and that is just social suicide. So let’s get ‘er done. Hold up, though, we’re in high school so we have a couple of things to consider: where, when, why, how, how, how…how. We remember all too well that classic PDA pose of locker-leaning, lip-locking but can only fantasize about what went down after the final bell. When asked, however, early-bloomers always copped a feel (or two) ringing in their first time with a significant other…of many months. As if straight out of the movie Valentine’s Day, these recently pubescent lovers planned every millisecond of their deflowering. Movie on, lights dimmed, and no one home…hopefully. Three-days-til-expired condom from your older brother’s sock drawer and three thrusts: a hit-it-and-quit-it just to say you did it.
Losing your virginity in high school was far from a Noah and Allie loving embrace and more like John Bender’s vulgar slip of a “hot beef injection.” Young and in love, naive and, even more so, innocent, you would expect your first time to be like a classic Nicholas Sparks movie, but in reality, it is quite the opposite. Yet by second period the next day, that love-locker-lean has that much more confidence and pride because, well, you did it.
But now you enter the tumultuous world of college where the steady flow of Natty Light mimics the consistency and ever-presence of escalated dance-floor makeouts. If the average American loses his/her virginity at age 17, then the typical college virgin will often feel compelled to lose it easily as their fracket on a given Saturday night. And with your OA’s push of your parents out of Swartz, you were no longer tethered to the possibility of your parents’ presence as you got down and dirty. While the challenges wanned, the possibilities skyrocketed as you made your way downtown, walking fast, the faces passed, and you were homebound…to your first college party. The college virgin’s mentality is starkly opposite to that of the high school sweethearts. Thoughts followed a less romantic manner as the frat star who pumps the keg will soon pump into you. And although you might roll off the twin XL bed, it is quite the upgrade from the basement’s slippery leather couch that once filled your mom’s first apartment.
Although the condom might also be stored in yet another wooden drawer as that of the high school scenario, the haze of intoxication and thrill of spontaneity fills you more than he does. And in a similar accomplished fashion, the deed is done. With a stride of pride to the comfort of an unshared bed, the weight is lifted off your shoulders as you can join the elite club of your fellow sex-capading friends.
Virginity is a medium-sized word with even larger implications. It is three times as many letters as sex and three times as complicated. And the truth of the matter is, each one of us is a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal and one day was a virgin.
Sources:
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/on-late-in-life-virginity-loss/284412/