For a select few, initiating conversations is a breeze. But for most? A worst nightmare. Starting a conversation with someone, be it an acquaintance or a complete stranger, can be tricky – even the most extraverted of people aren’t immune. Putting yourself out there is almost always scary. In an age where so many conversations take place through pixels on a screen, conversing in real life has become a legitimate challenge. Talking over social media is one thing; the real world is an entirely different ballpark.
However, the ladies of Her Campus are here to help you out. We’ve complied a list of our five favorite conversation starters to help get the ball rolling and fuel some interesting dialogue, completely IRL.
1. Compliment them.
The easiest way to get on someone’s good side? Compliment them. Ask them where they got their shirt, or tell them that a certain color looks particularly good on them. Not only will you make their day, but you’ll also be presenting yourself as an amicable and friendly person right off the bat.
2. Ask for their opinion.
People love to talk about themselves – it’s engrained in our nature. Use this well-established fact to your advantage when both initiating and sustaining a conversation. Start off by asking the other person what they think about a certain topic, be it a story that’s headlining in the news or the newest series to hit Netflix. Agreeing with what they have is an easy way to establish some common ground – disagreeing could lead to an unexpected but engaging discussion or debate.
3. Food is always the answer.
If you’re at an event that serves food, you’re in luck. Commenting on how great – or not so great – the food is can be the perfect way to get things started. Food is a commonality that links every single one of us together. Not only do we love consuming it, but we also enjoy talking about how much we love consuming it. So open up the conversation by asking if they’ve tried the dip yet, or request their opinion on the best place to grab sushi in the area.
4. Music is also the answer.
Another super easy way to get a conversation unraveling? Mention music. The great thing about music is that it’s so personal; everyone listens to it, and everyone has his or her own set of preferences. So if the tunes are bumping, comment on how much you love so-and-so band. Or, if it’s a song you’ve never heard before, ask the person if they know who the artist is. Music is a light and easy discussion topic that’s also incredibly conducive to forming instantaneous bonds.
5. Be self-deprecating.
A little self-deprecating humor is good in small doses. However, you don’t want to come across as too negative; it’s easy to go overboard with this one. So be funny with it. This conversation starter is especially fit for formal events – joking about how underdressed you are or how much you suck at small talk can be a fun segue into a greater conversation. It instantly breaks up the nervous tension and sets the tone for the dialogue that’s about to follow.
Finally, here are some additional tips in mind while working your way through a conversation:
- Don’t underestimate the power of body language. Keep your head held high and your arms uncrossed. Mirror the other person’s body language when you can, and most importantly, smile!
- Ask open-ended questions – avoid the yes-or-no variety. If the conversation ever comes to a lull, reignite it by giving them something stimulating to work with. Encourage them to share personal experiences. Don’t shy away from talking about yourself, too!
- Be a good listener, and appear invested in the conversation you’re having. Refrain from checking your phone or distractedly looking all over the place. Direct all of your attention onto the individual with whom you’re speaking.
Good luck, collegiettes!