Just returned from abroad, newly 21 and commuting into NYC for a 9-5 job, I find myself caught in the middle when it comes to romance. Is it time for something more serious? A fun summer fling? Then my friend told me about Bumble. “It’s like Tinder!” she exclaimed, “only much better.” “How so?” my interest peaked, and the social psychologist in me couldn’t wait to see what ridiculous new dating app had appeared in the iTunes store. Before she even answered my question, I downloaded the app.
How does it work? Just like Tinder, you set up a profile. You must connect using Facebook (don’t worry, Bumble never posts to your wall). You can then upload photos from Facebook or from your photo gallery and have up to 6 photos in your profile. Bumble pulls your age, occupation and college (or high school, you have to be 17 or older to use the app) from Facebook to put on your profile. If you want to add any other fun facts, that’s your call. Then Bumble works its magic and the guys closest to you appear in your feed. If you keep rejecting guys by swiping left, then Bumble starts finding guys further and further away.
Which leads to two burning questions: What is so great about it? How is it different from Tinder? First off, the guys are much better looking, at least in my opinion. Secondly, the guy’s age, education history and current job are on his initial profile. Game changer. While most men are okay with just seeing an attractive photo to swipe right, women typically need a little more. Women prefer to have some more essential facts, for one-night stands and for long-term relationships. Women want to know that the guy isn’t only attractive, but also maintains a high social status. According to many studies, women place a high value on social status and access to financial resources. These two things could be indicated by a guy’s current or past college and job.
It may sound shallow, but think of it from an evolutionary perspective. Especially for long-term relationships, but for short-term as well, females, often subconsciously, have to take into account the cost of pregnancy. In the event that the woman becomes pregnant, she would want her child to have the best possible traits in order to survive, which in today’s world often translates to success.
Female animals seek out the biggest and strongest males to mate with because it means that their offspring will survive. Their mate will be able to take care of and protect the family. Same theory applies with humans. A guy who is intelligent or has a good job will probably be able to earn money and provide for a family. So even if the guy isn’t the most attractive on Bumble, but has a good education background and/or job, then we are more likely to swipe right. I’m not saying your future husband is on Bumble (although he may be), but subconsciously, women cannot help think about these factors, especially when looking for a long-term relationship. For short-term, attractiveness often wins out, but a good job is definitely another plus.
But wait — there’s more. Perhaps the thing that makes Bumble SO great is that women are in charge. Once you swipe right and match with a guy, you have 24 hours to initiate the conversation. Yes, the girl has to make the first move. If you don’t initiate the conversation in 24 hours, the match disappears. After you say “Hi” the connection is saved in your conversations and then it’s his turn to respond. Daunting, I know. The first time I used the app I sent “hi” to every match, possibly not my best move. One response read, “Describe me in four words”. How about, “I don’t know you?” Others responded equally to my not so interesting icebreaker with a “hey” back and at least half didn’t respond, but hey, I tried.
Perhaps Bumble will be the answer for those entering the NYC bar and dating scene. The app is somewhere between your friend setting you up on a blind date and some guy hitting on you at a bar. And while I know you are thinking, do I really need an app to find a guy? What happen to just meeting someone in a bar? We are stuck in the middle. We belong to an in-between generation. Half of us will find our soul mates with dating websites and apps and the other half will find them the old fashioned way. One of my matches was actually in the same bar as me one night. We discovered this the next day after I got the app. Perhaps if I had the app one day sooner we would’ve met, but there’s always next time.
Warning: There are two catches to Bumble. You need to have a Facebook and an iPhone since the app is not available for Android yet.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/head-games/201308/what-women-want-in-men