We all have heard these conversations float around the Bison, the quad, St. Catherine Street: “Do you think they like me?” “I think they got with someone else” “If they liked me, they would’ve made a move already!” As women, sometimes we have the tendency to overanalyze, especially when it comes to love and relationships. If we are interested in someone, why not approach them and say hi?
We swing towards the “waiting game” instead of acting. We wait for them to grab us on the elevated surface. We wait for their text. We wait for them to acknowledge us as we cross paths on the quad.
There is a popular belief that if we make the first move, we will come across as desperate. We have built a misconception in our minds that men propose to women and boys chase girls. Today, we are climbing the corporate ladder, demanding equal pay, and we still can’t be the first to approach a guy? Regardless of where you fall in your feminist beliefs, we all agree that equality is at the root of our fight. If you expect your crush to text you, why can’t they expect the same thing from you? They are just as nervous. 5 out of 5 guys would love if you initiated a conversation. In most cases, the ultimate reason why you don’t want to approach your crush is out of fear for rejection, except we often forget that everyone has that same fear. We believe we should not be judged by the length of our skirt but by our character. Take a step towards demolishing sexism and break traditional gender roles: take action and show who you are instead of waiting for them to guess or assume.
Women are 2.5 times more likely to get a response than men if they initiate contact. Neurologically speaking, men tend to be less perceptive than women and women tend to have greater “emotional intelligence.” Therefore, men often times don’t recognize what women consider obvious signals, like eye contact from across the room. Women making the first move, even if it’s a “what’s up” text, will be more effective because it’s a more deliberate approach.
So ladies, be confident! Confidence is sexy. I’m not saying go up to your crush at the Flyson and tell him your life story or try a pick up line about nacho tots, unless of course, you want to. But there is nothing wrong with just simply saying hi! A strong personality stands out more than anything else. It also puts you in control and gives you the ability to make things happen.
It’s much easier said than done and rejection sucks, but be proud of yourself for making the first move. And remember, its their loss if they aren’t interested. If you are convinced they should make the first move, you might not ever actually get that the opportunity to talk to them. What is the worst thing that can happen? You’ll either get what you want or you’ll stop waiting and move on to someone who deserves you and that admires your boldness.
Sources:
http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/14/living/okcupid-womens-research-feat/
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/02/080213111055.htm