I literally can’t even begin to define a basic white girl’s language. I do, however, know that the term “basic” was recently dropped into our vocabularies and it’s devouring both the written and spoken language—text messages and casual conversations. Us women are privy to our own language that is, in reality, consistently misused. (Are we actually “dying” when we respond to a hilarious text?) Most of our expressions and phrases are so magnified and inflated that their actual definitions are no longer relevant. But all women are on the same page; we all speak the same warped and twisted language. So in case your PH scale is falling below a 7, here’s a list of common phrases to get you a little more basic.
I literally ______
- Definition: in a literal manner or sense; exactly
- How it’s used: Typically, it is used for emphasis or to express strong emotions. It’s now popular, almost vogue, to use “literally” in the non-literal sense, which has become the ultimate basic girl’s paradox. So remember, unless you add the word “literally” to your sentence, people might not understand you!
- Example: “I literally died last night”
She’s my best friend
- Definition: A highly coveted position in girl’s life. “Best” is only a simple four-letter word, but it holds such power. You become so close to each other that you start to finish each other’s sentences. You can talk for hours, but also, sit in complete silence. You’re compatible, and that’s only the beginning.
- How it’s used: A term loosely thrown out, and often times, attached to superficial relationships. It’s the classic drunken exclamation, “You’re my best friend!” to a girl you may only have one class with. Somehow, this term has taken over our lives, leaving us with many “best” friends.
I’m so fat
- Definition: having a large amount of excess (and undesirable) weight
- How it’s used: When girls want to rack in the compliments and hear quite the opposite: “What are you saying? You’re so skinny!”
I’m dead
- Definition: No longer alive
- How it’s used: When something happens that is so horrendous or so hilarious that the only response you can give is “I’m dead.” You are typically not able to function, as you are so overwhelmed by a given situation. So don’t panic if your friend says she’s “dying”- she’s probably just laughing.
Awkward
- What it means: causing difficulty; hard to deal with; causing or feeling embarrassment or inconvenience
- How it’s used: Even when you’re slightly uncomfortable, girls use this as a filler to exaggerate the situation. Often times, the mere utterance of the word can actually make things more awkward.
Whether we’d like to admit it, we’re all a little basic and have probably been personally victimized by the word itself. So remember, calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And calling someone basic doesn’t make you any less basic.