It was matriculation day in the fall of 2012 and my fellow freshman and I were gathered at Marsh Plaza to before going to our ceremony. While I reveled at the bird sculpture in front of the chapel, a friend sarcastically shared something along the lines of, “Campus legend says that the birds will fly away once a BU student graduates with his or her virginity intact.” Throughout my first semester, I learned that many of my peers haven’t engaged in sexual intercourse during college—which TV shows and movies are pretty baffled by. However, being a “college virgin” is NOTHING to be ashamed of–it could very well be something to celebrate! Below, you will find my own guide for surviving college as a virgin—I also got some help from surveymonkey.com to gather statistics and thoughts from the BU community.
1. Know that your value is not AT ALL dependent upon your sexual life or experiences. Your sexuality does not make you a morally good or morally wrong person in ANY WAY! An anonymous subject from my survey says it best: “If you’re a virgin, good for you. If you’re not a virgin, good for you. Stop letting your peers, the Internet, or anyone other than YOU tell you how you should live your life, sexually or otherwise.”
2. Play “Never Have I Ever” with confidence! It is nonsense to believe that being a virgin automatically alienates you from the rest of the population. Results from my survey show that 27 out of the 46 surveyed are still virgins (although this may be skewed because some males took the survey as well.) That means a MAJORITY of the surveyed are still virgins. Now imagine if this survey were given to the entire female population at BU! Your friends should respect your decision and your sex life because it is YOURS! They should be friends with you because of your PERSONALITY, not your SEXUALITY (sexual orientation included!).
3. Don’t rush or feel pressured into doing something you don’t want to or aren’t ready for! Sex is all about consent, and without it, girls often feel victimized. The best way to communicate your sex preferences and/or boundaries is through YOUR WORDS. However, if your partner is or has been pressuring you, know that it is NOT YOUR FAULT. BU’s Sexual Assault Response and Prevention center has a confidential hotline to call in the case of such events at 617 353 SARP (7277).
4. Educate yourself and prepare! Even if you’re not sexually active, it is totally all right to stock up on condoms from the Center for Gender, Sexuality and Activism or Student Health Services (Grab them for FREE!). Having condoms in your possession does not make you a dirty individual—in fact, it makes you a safe, prepared and smart partner! Also, you may be interested in using birth control. There are many options available like The Pill, Nuvaring, and the IUD. Everybody reacts differently to these methods, and it is important to consult a doctor before choosing to use birth control. It is entirely YOUR CHOICE to go on birth control or stash away some condoms.
A brilliant anonymous response said, “Virginity is more of an idea than a physical condition.” I totally agree! Surprisingly, only fifteen percent of the surveyed said they would like to change their sexual status, while 35% said it depends on the situation. Here are some other responses from the survey in regards to why the surveyed still have their virginity:
- “I’m waiting to be in a committed relationship with someone I can trust.”’
- “The right person just hasn’t come along yet.”
- “They aren’t too many straight guys here, but I don’t feel the need to rush things [.] I just want it to happen in a situation where I feel confident and beautiful and I want it to be satisfying.”
Evidently, we all have personal reasons for keeping our virginity. Our individual choices are what matters most, not our sexual status. In addition, absorb these anonymous words of wisdom: “College virgins shouldn’t fret about not being sexually active; just enjoy all the other aspects because there are plenty more to college than just sex.” College is about pursuing your dreams, leading an organization, abroad experiences, and those friendships that will last a lifetime!
Photo Sources
http://howtogetpregnantin.com/…