It’s rare for people to remain friends with all their besties from high school after they all graduate and head in separate life directions. Losing touch with friends is a natural process that happens throughout life. Very few people can say that they are still best friends with their BFF from kindergarten. This is because people are constantly growing and changing as individuals, which means they may not fit so perfectly together with their friends anymore.
But we do not just lose friends, we make them, too. It only makes sense that as you become friends with more people, you lose touch with others. In order to be a true friend, you devote part of your time and your heart to someone. Trying to be a good friend to so many people would be draining. There’s simply not enough hours in a day for it.
Photo from littlelondonmagazine.co.uk
There are also different levels of friendship, it’s not just black and white. Especially when we live in an age where social media is so prominent, the word “friend” can be defined by a simple button on Facebook. So, how do you know if you’re still friends with someone? You may still like and comment on all their Instagram posts but haven’t talked to them in months. The ambiguous definition of “friend” makes it hard to know whether or not to still actually consider someone your friend.
Personally, I have kept in touch with a couple friends from high school – the girls I was the closest to when I graduated. We’re constantly messaging each other in our group chat and planning times to video chat to make up for being miles apart. However, there are some people I thought I would remain close to post-graduation but barely talk to anymore. Honestly, it’s sad to feel like you hardly know someone anymore, especially when you knew everything about them just a few months ago.
Once, one of my close friends confided in me that she was trying to decide whether or not to remain friends with her ex, which albeit is different from staying friends with your buddies. She told me, “If he wants me to fight for the friendship, I will, but I’m not going to be the only one putting in the effort.” This outlook is perfect for deciding whether or not to hold onto a friendship. You also have to determine if you want to fight to keep your friend because ultimately, friendship is a two-way street.
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One last important note: even if you let yourself drift away from a friend, that does not mean it’s the end of the friendship forever. Unless you break it off because of a huge fight–and even if you do–you are always free to reunite with that person in the future. Maybe you two are just at very different points in your lives right now and that’s why you’re not as close to each other as before. People change, friendships change too, and that’s okay.
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