The Sage Saga

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Registration (def.): that magical week when you realize that you have a ton of classes that you still need to take for your major, your other major, your minor, your other minor, your language requirement and your physical education requirement

Leading up to registration, you carefully and strategically plan which class you will sign up for on the first day, the second day and the third day. It is all very organized, orderly, highlighted… saved. It’s beautiful.

On the first day, you count down the minutes until your registration time. You have the first registration time at 10 a.m., and you cannot wait to finally get into that class. You have tried to get into that class for a year or two at this point, but it always fills up before you are able to register. Not this year, though. This semester, you know you will get in. How could you not??? You have the first registration time on the first day of registration. Done.

9:57… 9:58… 9:59… 10:00!!! Okay, sage.brandeis.edu, do not fail me! You will work, Sage. I know you will work—you’re just loading slowly today… Just a few more seconds. One minute later… Why haven’t you loaded yet, Sage? Come on… Refresh.

Five minutes later… What is happening?! Can I sue for this?! Call LTS… They redirect you to the Registrar. Call the Registrar… Go through their entire computer recording that directs you to “press one if you have a question regarding AP scores” and to “press two if you have a question regarding transfer credit” without actually being able to speak with someone in the office.

Six hours later, after an entire morning/afternoon of complaining with your friends about this stupid registration system, after attempting to access Sage unsuccessfully give or take 200 times, when you are about to lose it… Sage finally works! I’m in!!!

…And the class I wanted is… full?

The end.

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