Today I would like to get back to the basics and cover one of the classic awkward encounters known to man (or to 20 year old sorority girls): tripping in public. Now, there are various situations in which a person may publically trip, so I will narrow down my analysis to a more specific situation: tripping while walking alone on the sidewalk in the city in front of many bystanders. Because we go to school in the city, which is full of many sidewalk hazards such as cracks, curbs, litter, trashcans, and small dogs, I figured this analysis would resonate with the majority of readers. I (and perhaps many of you) publically trip much more than I care to admit.
To set the scene, I’ll share the embarrassing run-in I had with this particular situation last weekend. I was on my way to dance class walking in a pair of flip-flops. First mistake! Never wear flip-flops if you’re a less than coordinated person. (And yes, the dance class element irony is not lost on me). I was casually texting a super good-looking Columbia male graduate student. Okay fine, I was texting my mom. Having walked these very sidewalks every day for the past year and a half, I figured I knew their general moldings quite well. But then, I suddenly felt my knees buckle underneath me as I stepped onto a lopsided area of the pavement. Of course, it is very likely that the pavement was perfectly even and I simply could have convinced myself that the pavement was dented to avoid confronting the sobering fact that I tripped over my own feet. But for now lets just continue with the dent theory. So, I tripped over the uneven pavement, nearly fell all the way to the ground, but luckily caught myself and avoided serious industry. But, I didn’t catch myself soon enough because I had clearly grabbed the attention of all surrounding bystanders.
This is where the internal conflict resides: how is one meant to react following such a public display of clumsiness? Here were the options that ran through my head in my moment of humiliation and panic: 1. Laugh it off. This works when you manage to make eye contact with some of the bystanders and laugh the humiliation away together. However, this does not work when the people around you don’t seem to empathize and just keep their head down as if nothing had happen. So at this point, not only did you just awkwardly trip over yourself on a flat sidewalk (like I was actually fooling anyone with the dent theory), but now you also look like a complete lunatic laughing by yourself while walking down the street all alone. 2. Pretend nothing happened and continue walking. The problem with this is if you make a big scene of tripping in public and then simply stand up and continue walking, you give the bystanders even worse second-hand embarrassment than they already had for you. Nothing is more awkward than witnessing someone’s humiliating moment and then watching them dash off all hot and bothered. Sometimes, you need that little bit of comic relief for both your sake and the sake of onlookers. 3. A combination of the first two options. I generally choose this option. After I trip, I look around me and pray that nobody saw it happen. When I realize that many people did indeed witness my display of disgrace, I attempt to gauge their reactions before making my next move. I generally let out a small giggle (if you read last week’s blog, you will know that my “small giggle” is more of an uncomfortable noise than anything remotely cute), and then I continue walking with a slight smile on my face to show onlookers that I obviously don’t take myself too seriously. Of course, even this option has potential to go horribly wrong if you have yet to master the slight smile (don’t worry, it took me a while too). If you don’t have that smile down, you end up maniacally giggling while making a weird facial expression as you walk down the street alone. Thus, there really is no poised way to handle the inherent awkwardness that comes with publically tripping. Best option: Look where you’re going and avoid tripping in the first place! If this suggestion is too unrealistic for you, then simply accept that the next time you trip in public, regardless of the damage control that you employ, you will inevitably walk away thinking: That was awkward.